Advertisement
“A dream you dream alone is only a dream; a dream you dream together is reality.” — Yoko Ono
Jun
11
On How We Keep Blaming Women For Rape
Filed Under misogyny, patriarchy, rape and sexual assault, slut-shaming, violence against women and girls | Posted by Cara |
AlterNet has an article about the frequency of men raping and sexually assaulting female journalists working in war zones. For the most part, the article does a great job of bringing attention to the problem. It is so rarely discussed because the victims of such assaults do not want to be identified and come forward only extremely rarely. They are afraid of losing their jobs, being taken off of the story, being seen as “weak” by their male correspondents, ending up on the news. So these women keep their rapes and assaults a secret, often even from friends, or even in the event of gang rape.
All of this is heart-breaking enough. Then, the article goes on to perpetuate what it seems to be railing against: the assumption that women are somehow to blame for the men who attacked them.
In the cases that I know of, the journalists did nothing to provoke the attacks; they behaved with utmost propriety, except perhaps for one bikini-clad woman who was raped by a hotel employee while sunbathing on the roof in a conservative Middle Eastern country. The correspondent who was molested by her Iraqi security guard is still puzzling over the fact that he brazenly crept into her room while colleagues slept nearby. “You do everything right, and then something like this happens,” she says. “I never wore tight T-shirts or outrageous clothes. But he knew I didn’t have a tribe that would go after him.”
This is an article from AlterNet, a progressive media. It is written by a woman, and this woman is talking about her friends, women she knows personally who were willing to discuss their assaults with her on an anonymous basis.It hurts me so deeply to see how women internalize their own oppression, that we actually believe these lies that we are told all of our lives. If only she hadn’t worn that. If only she hadn’t been alone, or out so late, or drinking. If only she had been so careless, she wouldn’t have been raped.
How do we let everyone forget that this isn’t a matter of “a woman was raped?” Who the hell did the raping? No. She wasn’t passively raped by some mysterious force. A man raped her. It’s not “if only she had been more careful.” It’s “if only that man hadn’t been a rapist.”
But we don’t see that. We so rarely talk about men raping women. We talk about women “being” raped. The very language that we use suggest that women brought it upon themselves. If we don’t include the rapist, we forget how the rape actually happened. The woman is the only subject here, she is the only one on trial. We’re focusing on her behavior instead of he who actually did the raping. Women, despite what is implied every day of our lives, do not rape themselves.
Look at the comments to this article, if you can stomach them, and you will see that the attitude presented in the piece is far from isolated. You will see the argument that rape is an “occupational hazard.” And that women should be more careful. You will see that, yeah, we are far from being past patriarchy and socially endorsed misogyny. And if you’re like me, you’re going to feel a little broken.
If you’d like to provide some feedback on the article to AlterNet, you can do so here. Personally, I haven’t quite worked out where to begin.
Comments
4 Comments so far
Subscribe to The Curvature
“Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less.” — Susan B. Anthony
I think you began quite well, right here. And you’re so right. I have always said, “I was date raped.”
I read the article, and I thought that for the most part, the author did a great job avoiding stereotypes about women “bringing it on themselves.” I stumbled when I got to the first sentence of the paragraph that you quoted. The women did nothing to bring on the attacks… except for this one floozy who really maybe kind of deserved it! The author falls into the same language trap that so many other journalists do when describing rape: using the passive voice to avoid having to address the shitwits that DID THE RAPING.
I agree that it’s heartbreaking to see women internalizing their own oppression, but it doesn’t surprise me any more.
I thought it was a great article for the most part, too, which is why seeing that part made me so sad. I had to read it twice to make sure that’s what it really said.
It does still surprise me, for some reason. At least, it surprises me to hear it coming from a woman who (I assume) is liberal and writing for a liberal media.
Liberals are just as misogynistic as everyone else, I’m afraid. :-(