Comments on: Offensive Remark of the Week http://thecurvature.com/2007/07/14/offensive-remark-of-the-week-5/ Fri, 19 Mar 2010 18:34:00 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Sister Mary Lisa http://thecurvature.com/2007/07/14/offensive-remark-of-the-week-5/#comment-865 Sister Mary Lisa Tue, 17 Jul 2007 20:00:45 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/2007/07/14/offensive-remark-of-the-week-5/#comment-865 Mary is right. Women may use their beauty and sexuality as a "power," but in the end, the men are the ones who choose whether or not to allow our sexuality to influence them at all. Men's power is actual power. They don't need to use sexuality to make things happen, as they like to cause us to attempt. I agree with Cara. You couldn't have said it better than your last line: <i>Seriously, Travolta. Fuck you.</i> Mary is right. Women may use their beauty and sexuality as a “power,” but in the end, the men are the ones who choose whether or not to allow our sexuality to influence them at all.

Men’s power is actual power. They don’t need to use sexuality to make things happen, as they like to cause us to attempt.

I agree with Cara. You couldn’t have said it better than your last line: Seriously, Travolta. Fuck you.

]]> By: mary http://thecurvature.com/2007/07/14/offensive-remark-of-the-week-5/#comment-850 mary Mon, 16 Jul 2007 19:35:57 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/2007/07/14/offensive-remark-of-the-week-5/#comment-850 yes, but men have other powers as well that women don't. women can "use" their sexuality to gain approval and recognition from men, and that is interpreted as "power," which i guess is supposed to pacify us. yes, but men have other powers as well that women don’t. women can “use” their sexuality to gain approval and recognition from men, and that is interpreted as “power,” which i guess is supposed to pacify us.

]]> By: dew http://thecurvature.com/2007/07/14/offensive-remark-of-the-week-5/#comment-844 dew Mon, 16 Jul 2007 15:53:54 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/2007/07/14/offensive-remark-of-the-week-5/#comment-844 "Yes, women can use their sexuality to be manipulative." So can men. It really confuses me when I hear people talking about the "power" of women's sexuality, because men have sexuality too. “Yes, women can use their sexuality to be manipulative.” So can men. It really confuses me when I hear people talking about the “power” of women’s sexuality, because men have sexuality too.

]]> By: Cara http://thecurvature.com/2007/07/14/offensive-remark-of-the-week-5/#comment-829 Cara Sun, 15 Jul 2007 01:18:49 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/2007/07/14/offensive-remark-of-the-week-5/#comment-829 <p>You know, I often find that the most offensive things are said when one thinks they are being completely unoffensive. When one's guard is down, all kinds of interesting things slip out. I don't think that he was laughing "haha, take that women" to himself at all. But I do think that he's completely unaware of his privilege and of the struggles that women go through, and said something highly insensitive and inappropriate. </p> <p>I, too, have said things that were offensive when I wasn't thinking or wasn't aware of something. It's bound to happen again. And when I get called on it, I think about what I said, why I said it, and why it was offensive. I take a lesson from it, and I genuinely apologize, I try to educate myself and I do my best to correct my actions in the future. Not a bullshit "I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry if anyone was offended" apology, but a real "I was unaware, I was wrong, I shouldn't have said that and I apologize for being hurtful" apology. And that's all I ask of anyone else.</p> You know, I often find that the most offensive things are said when one thinks they are being completely unoffensive. When one’s guard is down, all kinds of interesting things slip out. I don’t think that he was laughing “haha, take that women” to himself at all. But I do think that he’s completely unaware of his privilege and of the struggles that women go through, and said something highly insensitive and inappropriate.

I, too, have said things that were offensive when I wasn’t thinking or wasn’t aware of something. It’s bound to happen again. And when I get called on it, I think about what I said, why I said it, and why it was offensive. I take a lesson from it, and I genuinely apologize, I try to educate myself and I do my best to correct my actions in the future. Not a bullshit “I didn’t mean it like that, I’m sorry if anyone was offended” apology, but a real “I was unaware, I was wrong, I shouldn’t have said that and I apologize for being hurtful” apology. And that’s all I ask of anyone else.

]]> By: Anna http://thecurvature.com/2007/07/14/offensive-remark-of-the-week-5/#comment-828 Anna Sun, 15 Jul 2007 01:04:59 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/2007/07/14/offensive-remark-of-the-week-5/#comment-828 Mmmm - quite a debate. While no doubt John T. meant no offense (perhaps benignly clueless?), his comments are certainly enough to make one wince - as you correctly point out, Cara. And the "grotesque" comment could be interpreted as offensive to both men and women who are overweight. Mmmm – quite a debate. While no doubt John T. meant no offense (perhaps benignly clueless?), his comments are certainly enough to make one wince – as you correctly point out, Cara. And the “grotesque” comment could be interpreted as offensive to both men and women who are overweight.

]]> By: corey http://thecurvature.com/2007/07/14/offensive-remark-of-the-week-5/#comment-827 corey Sat, 14 Jul 2007 22:59:21 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/2007/07/14/offensive-remark-of-the-week-5/#comment-827 wow. these comments remind me of something leonard pitts said about white people's resistance to acknowledging blatantly racist comments...if people can't recongnize it when it's that blatant, how the hell are they gonna recognize it when it's even more insidious, which it usually is. (i'm paraphrasing big time) wow. these comments remind me of something leonard pitts said about white people’s resistance to acknowledging blatantly racist comments…if people can’t recongnize it when it’s that blatant, how the hell are they gonna recognize it when it’s even more insidious, which it usually is. (i’m paraphrasing big time)

]]> By: Tracey http://thecurvature.com/2007/07/14/offensive-remark-of-the-week-5/#comment-826 Tracey Sat, 14 Jul 2007 22:58:12 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/2007/07/14/offensive-remark-of-the-week-5/#comment-826 I just wish Travolta was never cast in this role. He totally doesn't deserve it. And yeah. That WAS the most offensive comment of the week. Of course the fake-ness of it all was why he was being groped, but to comment that body-attention gives women power is ridiculous. I just wish Travolta was never cast in this role. He totally doesn’t deserve it.

And yeah. That WAS the most offensive comment of the week. Of course the fake-ness of it all was why he was being groped, but to comment that body-attention gives women power is ridiculous.

]]> By: Cara http://thecurvature.com/2007/07/14/offensive-remark-of-the-week-5/#comment-825 Cara Sat, 14 Jul 2007 20:26:27 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/2007/07/14/offensive-remark-of-the-week-5/#comment-825 I think that it's painful to see women defending these types of comments. What exactly could <i>possibly</i> be considered benign about a man suggesting that women are empowered when men randomly grope them? I think that it’s painful to see women defending these types of comments. What exactly could possibly be considered benign about a man suggesting that women are empowered when men randomly grope them?

]]> By: Mariana http://thecurvature.com/2007/07/14/offensive-remark-of-the-week-5/#comment-824 Mariana Sat, 14 Jul 2007 20:16:56 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/2007/07/14/offensive-remark-of-the-week-5/#comment-824 My god, lighten up.. it's painful to see people getting offended at such benign comments... My god, lighten up.. it’s painful to see people getting offended at such benign comments…

]]> By: Kitty Glendower http://thecurvature.com/2007/07/14/offensive-remark-of-the-week-5/#comment-823 Kitty Glendower Sat, 14 Jul 2007 19:40:33 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/2007/07/14/offensive-remark-of-the-week-5/#comment-823 How is it powerful to not be able to control the groping? It was not as if he is saying people asked him could they grope and he had the power to say yes or no. People groped without permission. That demonstrates a lack of power. How is it powerful to not be able to control the groping? It was not as if he is saying people asked him could they grope and he had the power to say yes or no. People groped without permission. That demonstrates a lack of power.

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