Comments on: A Response From Cosmo http://thecurvature.com/2007/09/04/a-response-from-cosmo/ Fri, 19 Mar 2010 07:52:20 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Terminology (or, This Isn’t Sex) « The Radical Notion http://thecurvature.com/2007/09/04/a-response-from-cosmo/#comment-16548 Terminology (or, This Isn’t Sex) « The Radical Notion Fri, 26 Feb 2010 01:39:29 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/2007/09/04/a-response-from-cosmo/#comment-16548 [...] 22-year-old TRN: OMG I immediately die a little inside when I meet someone who takes Cosmopolitan seriously. I can’t believe I ever liked that magazine. Sure, it does manage to stray away from the Madonna-whore dichotomy of women’s sexuality, but that’s about the only good thing I can say about it. Its sex tips are not only repeated every month, but completely ridiculous. It’s so heteronormative that I don’t think I’ve ever, in the dozens of issues in multiple languages I’ve read over the years, seen a single mention of a non-heterosexual romantic or sexual interaction. It promotes hackneyed gender stereotypes and “relationship tips” (I once read one where they advised women to pretend not to be able to do certain things, i.e. open jars, in order to help your man feel manly). Oh yeah, and they’re also rape apologists. [...] [...] 22-year-old TRN: OMG I immediately die a little inside when I meet someone who takes Cosmopolitan seriously. I can’t believe I ever liked that magazine. Sure, it does manage to stray away from the Madonna-whore dichotomy of women’s sexuality, but that’s about the only good thing I can say about it. Its sex tips are not only repeated every month, but completely ridiculous. It’s so heteronormative that I don’t think I’ve ever, in the dozens of issues in multiple languages I’ve read over the years, seen a single mention of a non-heterosexual romantic or sexual interaction. It promotes hackneyed gender stereotypes and “relationship tips” (I once read one where they advised women to pretend not to be able to do certain things, i.e. open jars, in order to help your man feel manly). Oh yeah, and they’re also rape apologists. [...]

]]> By: april http://thecurvature.com/2007/09/04/a-response-from-cosmo/#comment-8354 april Tue, 11 Nov 2008 03:24:43 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/2007/09/04/a-response-from-cosmo/#comment-8354 Here's an example thats helped me a lot whenever I try to figure out if something is sexist or wrong; picture this; A guy goes out to a sports bar and gets drunk. I mean really drunk. He watches the game with another football fanatic, a big guy, personal trainer who offers to help the skinny drunk guy too work out sometime, and buys him another drink. By the end of the game, drunk guy is obviously too drunk too drive so the personal trainer guy offers to drop him home. Turns out, the trainer is on the DL and has sex with the skinny drunk guy. Drunk guy is not bi, not gay and never consented, but he's humiliated because he was too drunk to resist or fight the guy, and doesnt want anyone to know what happened. Was he "gray raped"? Did he consent? Was it his fault for getting too drunk? Does anyone ask "Well is he normally promiscuous?" Or even worse, "Well, what was he wearing"?? Here’s an example thats helped me a lot whenever I try to figure out if something is sexist or wrong; picture this;
A guy goes out to a sports bar and gets drunk. I mean really drunk. He watches the game with another football fanatic, a big guy, personal trainer who offers to help the skinny drunk guy too work out sometime, and buys him another drink. By the end of the game, drunk guy is obviously too drunk too drive so the personal trainer guy offers to drop him home. Turns out, the trainer is on the DL and has sex with the skinny drunk guy. Drunk guy is not bi, not gay and never consented, but he’s humiliated because he was too drunk to resist or fight the guy, and doesnt want anyone to know what happened. Was he “gray raped”? Did he consent? Was it his fault for getting too drunk? Does anyone ask “Well is he normally promiscuous?” Or even worse, “Well, what was he wearing”??

]]> By: wtf http://thecurvature.com/2007/09/04/a-response-from-cosmo/#comment-4338 wtf Tue, 15 Apr 2008 05:54:31 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/2007/09/04/a-response-from-cosmo/#comment-4338 thoroughly disgusted by the response from these "magazine editors," if you can bring yourself to call them that, but not surprised. cosmo's been raping women for years with their garbage. they work for an artifical, soulless media that tries to manipulate women into conforming to its ideals of what women should be. (photoshop-dependent to sell covers, anyone?) NO THANKS to this subscription - they can shove it where the sun doesn't shine! thoroughly disgusted by the response from these “magazine editors,” if you can bring yourself to call them that, but not surprised.

cosmo’s been raping women for years with their garbage. they work for an artifical, soulless media that tries to manipulate women into conforming to its ideals of what women should be. (photoshop-dependent to sell covers, anyone?)

NO THANKS to this subscription – they can shove it where the sun doesn’t shine!

]]> By: Saorla http://thecurvature.com/2007/09/04/a-response-from-cosmo/#comment-1296 Saorla Thu, 06 Sep 2007 02:30:40 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/2007/09/04/a-response-from-cosmo/#comment-1296 Oh yeah - I got exactly the same response. It made me so angry so read that condescending piece of shit. I'm going to write back to them again today Oh yeah – I got exactly the same response. It made me so angry so read that condescending piece of shit. I’m going to write back to them again today

]]> By: dew http://thecurvature.com/2007/09/04/a-response-from-cosmo/#comment-1287 dew Wed, 05 Sep 2007 20:53:58 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/2007/09/04/a-response-from-cosmo/#comment-1287 I guess I've always considered Cosmo such a bastion of misogyny that this surprises me not at all. I hope you'll keep us updated about whether or not they print your letter or others like it. I guess I’ve always considered Cosmo such a bastion of misogyny that this surprises me not at all.

I hope you’ll keep us updated about whether or not they print your letter or others like it.

]]> By: norbizness http://thecurvature.com/2007/09/04/a-response-from-cosmo/#comment-1281 norbizness Wed, 05 Sep 2007 13:30:11 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/2007/09/04/a-response-from-cosmo/#comment-1281 It could have been worse; the form letter could have signed off with "Stay Sassy!" It could have been worse; the form letter could have signed off with “Stay Sassy!”

]]> By: Cara http://thecurvature.com/2007/09/04/a-response-from-cosmo/#comment-1279 Cara Wed, 05 Sep 2007 12:13:55 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/2007/09/04/a-response-from-cosmo/#comment-1279 Ha! I was half expecting to hear that brandann. What complete and total fuckers. I did respond. I have even less faith that they'll answer this time than I had last time. But that's not really the point . . . the point, I think, is to inundate them with letters. It will be particularly interesting to see how far their lack of journalistic integrity extends when the next issue comes out. Think that they'll print a single negative letter about the article? Ha! I was half expecting to hear that brandann. What complete and total fuckers.

I did respond. I have even less faith that they’ll answer this time than I had last time. But that’s not really the point . . . the point, I think, is to inundate them with letters.

It will be particularly interesting to see how far their lack of journalistic integrity extends when the next issue comes out. Think that they’ll print a single negative letter about the article?

]]> By: brandann http://thecurvature.com/2007/09/04/a-response-from-cosmo/#comment-1277 brandann Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:26:40 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/2007/09/04/a-response-from-cosmo/#comment-1277 amen to that *does a double take* did i really just say that? i mean...i agree wholely! amen to that

*does a double take*

did i really just say that?

i mean…i agree wholely!

]]> By: AlexandraK http://thecurvature.com/2007/09/04/a-response-from-cosmo/#comment-1276 AlexandraK Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:04:32 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/2007/09/04/a-response-from-cosmo/#comment-1276 If she's "confused" as to whether she gave consent, then it's rape. Having sex with a woman who's too intoxicated or otherwise incapacitated to even recall whether she wanted sex is criminal. No, Cosmopolitan doesn't give a flying fuck about women; they care about their profit. They promote the idea that sexual prowess is akin to feminist strength. Sure, there's a difference between getting drunk and making stupid decisions and becoming inebriated and being taken advantage of. The absolutely abhorrent thing about their message is that it muddies the date-rape-drug waters even more. If we condone rape when the woman has voluntarily drunk herself into oblivion, then it becomes much tougher to pursue cases in which the woman was drugged. She does not get to a hospital in time to have drug tests taken, but she swears that she only had a small amount to drink and was suddenly incapacitated, and all a rapist has to say is, "Nah, you were trashed after doing tequila shots off the bar. It's not my fault that you told me you wanted to sleep with me and then changed your mind." As you said, we have to educate women that their intoxication, while somewhat misguided, is not an excuse for another person to abuse them. These women (who may not even exist. I have no faith in Cosmopolitan's editorial integrity) are perpetuating and promoting a sexist, misogynistic norm. Cosmo is truly a piece of shit. If she’s “confused” as to whether she gave consent, then it’s rape. Having sex with a woman who’s too intoxicated or otherwise incapacitated to even recall whether she wanted sex is criminal. No, Cosmopolitan doesn’t give a flying fuck about women; they care about their profit. They promote the idea that sexual prowess is akin to feminist strength.

Sure, there’s a difference between getting drunk and making stupid decisions and becoming inebriated and being taken advantage of. The absolutely abhorrent thing about their message is that it muddies the date-rape-drug waters even more. If we condone rape when the woman has voluntarily drunk herself into oblivion, then it becomes much tougher to pursue cases in which the woman was drugged. She does not get to a hospital in time to have drug tests taken, but she swears that she only had a small amount to drink and was suddenly incapacitated, and all a rapist has to say is, “Nah, you were trashed after doing tequila shots off the bar. It’s not my fault that you told me you wanted to sleep with me and then changed your mind.”

As you said, we have to educate women that their intoxication, while somewhat misguided, is not an excuse for another person to abuse them. These women (who may not even exist. I have no faith in Cosmopolitan’s editorial integrity) are perpetuating and promoting a sexist, misogynistic norm. Cosmo is truly a piece of shit.

]]> By: brandann http://thecurvature.com/2007/09/04/a-response-from-cosmo/#comment-1274 brandann Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:15:10 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/2007/09/04/a-response-from-cosmo/#comment-1274 wow. actually, cara...i received the same reply...word for word. i was just as angered, and found it just as condesending as you did. i KNOW they didn't make it up...and in my letter i TOLD them that they had a responsibility. another example of how they really don't care for women at all... i haven't responded yet, b/c as i said on feministing, i didn't get to read the whole thing myself, most of it was read to me over the phone. articles like this are one of the reasons i quit reading this garbage, and have been urging my friends to quit as well... if i come up w/ a good reply, i will let you know... it won't be as eloquent as yours i am sure...but it will be something... grr...nothing like bulk mail condescension... wow. actually, cara…i received the same reply…word for word. i was just as angered, and found it just as condesending as you did. i KNOW they didn’t make it up…and in my letter i TOLD them that they had a responsibility. another example of how they really don’t care for women at all…

i haven’t responded yet, b/c as i said on feministing, i didn’t get to read the whole thing myself, most of it was read to me over the phone. articles like this are one of the reasons i quit reading this garbage, and have been urging my friends to quit as well…

if i come up w/ a good reply, i will let you know…
it won’t be as eloquent as yours i am sure…but it will be something…
grr…nothing like bulk mail condescension…

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