Comments on: Offensive Remark of the Week: John McCain Wins by Proxy Edition

By: Cara

Cara — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 13:29:56 +0000

That was an excellent comment. I'm going to have to save that one.

By: Ran

Ran — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 05:33:32 +0000

@Cara: Slowly making my way through the comments there, I came to comment 48, which specifically addresses my attitude and I think makes a lot of sense. So I think I owe you an apology. (Now comes the awkward question of whether saying that in itself constitutes an apology, or whether I have to additionally tack on "I'm sorry." Performative speech is confusing. But anyway, I'm sorry.)

By: Anorak

Anorak — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 00:19:23 +0000

First off, way to go, Cara, your patience with explaining stuff that you hold to be self-evident (wait, where have I heard that line before?) is amazing.
I just can’t be bothered explaining ONE MORE TIME why “slut” is a problematic insult, or why it’s inappropriate for a presidential candidate to collude in calling Clinton a bitch. Kudos to you for having the patience!

Also, I love “douche” as an insult, because a douche itself is such a useless, pathetic, vagina-hating thing, that it translates (to me at least) into the perfect insult for a sexist guy.

Anyway, it’s been a while since I commented, just wanted to let you know I’m still reading!

By: Cara

Cara — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 23:27:31 +0000

Well . . . that’s good! Progress!

By: Jenee

Jenee — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 23:19:12 +0000

I don’t think that tool or douche are used mostly against men, at least not amongst the people that I know. I suppose they might be used more against men in some places because “bitch” is the preferred generic insult against women. But my friends will use douche for any….douche, male or female. I’ve never thought of it as being in any way gender-specific.

By: Cara

Cara — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 22:13:36 +0000

. . . Yeah, I know. I really shouldn’t use dick. Sigh. I’ll admit that I have a personal attachment to “dickhead” — it has such harsher syllables than “asshole.” It’s easier to say and seems more appropriate when angry. I tend to say “dickhead” when I’m riled up and “asshole” when I’m not. But yeah, not an excuse, I know. I don’t have anything against male genitalia either (in fact, I’m fairly fond of it). Just pointing out that yeah, sometimes I suck, too (surprise of the century, right?).

By: kissmypineapple

kissmypineapple — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 22:04:26 +0000

I agree, bastard is not okay to use to describe anyone. Neither is slut. And quite honestly, I have an issue with dick. I don’t appreciate people appropriating my genitalia as a slur against others (i.e. cunt, pussy), and I see nothing negative about male genitalia either. Asshole, again, is equal opportunity, b/c both men and women have those, and b/c really, no one wants to be the gateway for shit.

By: Cara

Cara — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:47:09 +0000

Well I do have something against bastard, because it’s actual meaning is “illegitimate child” or “your mother is a slut.” But that’s a whole other digression.

As for “dick” — that’s just another word for “jerk” or “asshole.” It’s true that all three of these words (along with my two faves, tool and douche) are used primarily if not entirely towards men. And that’s a problem because women can of course be all of those things. I would not only fail to have a problem with these words being used to also refer to women, I would prefer it. We are in desperate need of effective gender neutral insults.

By: rich

rich — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:37:23 +0000

I think this argument about “bastard,” “dick”, etc. is similar to why being called a “cracker” isn’t really racist to a white person. Prejudicial maybe, but personally, being called a dick or a bastard in no way offends me, and is easily shrugged off. I think a lot of men are like that. The force is not nearly so powerful as calling a woman any of a number of misogynist terms, because it reminds and reinforces the power structure in society, i.e. men over women.

By: Cara

Cara — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:35:29 +0000

I would argue that the the swastika is a bit different, actually. Not because the history is any less ugly, in fact if we’re going to get into a losing game of “which is the worst atrocity,” the swastika would probably be representative of the absolute worst. However, the swastika was appropriated by the Nazis and used for evil purposes. I think that this is a very difficult and very unusual issue because obviously most uses of the swastika would now be completely unacceptable. But it also doesn’t seem right to take away another’s cultural/religious symbol because someone else went and used it in an abhorrent and hateful way. On the other hand, what about those who were the victims of what the symbol represented? I don’t have an answer for that.

As for the Confederate Flag, though, there’s not a whole lot of ambiguous area. The flag was created to represent the Confederacy when they broke away from the United States under the banner of “state’s rights.” As we know, a large part (though not all) of the “state’s rights” doctrine had to do with slavery and keeping it in place. Unless I’ve missed something really big in life, the flag has no other cultural or religious connotations. It’s a reference to the Civil War, the Confederacy and the “southern pride” that is based in that highly unfortunate history. The swastika has benign origins. The Confederate Flag does not.

And again, slut is not acceptable. It doesn’t matter how you feel towards “immodesty” (and “immodest” is not really what “slut” means anyway). Especially since there’s already a word for that — immodest! Having an opinion about “immodest” behavior is one thing, and judging women (and only women) because of how they dress or how they express themselves sexually is absolutely not acceptable, at all. Ever.