Comments on: Victims Don’t Owe You Anything

By: On Those Supposed “Rape Exceptions” : The Curvature

On Those Supposed “Rape Exceptions” : The Curvature — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 13:01:49 +0000

[...] fact is that victims don’t owe us anything. I’d like to see more victims report rape, but first we’re going to have to create a [...]

By: Day of Blogs » 31: The Importance of Listening

Day of Blogs » 31: The Importance of Listening — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 04:32:57 +0000

[...] second is the simple fact that victims don’t owe you anything. Victims do not owe society. They do not have a responsibility or a debt to pay. The only [...]

By: Daomadan

Daomadan — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 22:31:23 +0000

Thank you for addressing this Cara. As a survivor of DV I couldn’t even stomach reading any further in the feministing.com comment thread or where else this has been posted. Thank you for speaking up for victims and survivors of DV.

By: Cara

Cara — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 14:15:18 +0000

Paul, I agree that in that situation the client should have been the child, not the mother. But I’m not really sure what it has to do with this case.

By: Abbey

Abbey — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 12:46:02 +0000

I clicked the link to check out the argument on Feministing, and oh…my…god. So much drama. It’s really surprising (and a bit depressing) at the number of MRA members who felt it was their duty to repeatedly interrupt conversation on a feminist blog. How sad…and pathetic.

By: Paul

Paul — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 04:08:54 +0000

It’s difficult in these kind of situations – there was a case of child abuse where the mother got the investigation dropped because the abusive father had promised to reform – after he later killed both the daughter and her, CPS said they shouldn’t have dropped it – “the child was the client, not the mother”.

By: Cobalt

Cobalt — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 19:21:21 +0000

WHAT

By: Alex

Alex — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 11:42:47 +0000

Something that struck me about this case is how all week the local papers have been referring to the victim as a teen. Since she’s 19, that’s technically correct, although the age of majority in Ontario is 18 (except for alcohol and tobacco where it’s 19), so while she is a teen, she is also an adult. Interestingly enough, when a 17 year old and an 18 year old are charged or convicted of a crime, these same papers usually refer to them as a “17 year old child’ and an “18 year old adult.”

The only conclusion I’ve been able to draw is that this consistent reference to an adult as a teen is intended to infantilize her thus justifying the state’s big brotheresque behaviour.

By: sbsanon

sbsanon — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 04:45:20 +0000

Thanks for writing about this, Cara. I was outraged by the comments on the feministing post but I don’t think my one comment there came even close to expressing everything I think was wrong with them. You always put things in to words so well.

By: corey

corey — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 04:34:33 +0000

Simply amazing. Today I heard the story of a formerly battered woman who had been convicted of felony embezzlement from her company (as her husband allowed her no access to money, of course). She said that when she went through the system as an accused (later convicted) felon people were understanding of her situation and treated her with respect, told her anyone can make a mistake, etc. When she went through the system as a victim of DV, she said it was the worst experience of her life. People treated her like a total idiot and were completely shitty and incredulous, judging everything she did. Unbelievable.