“I was recently in the ER with a young woman. She was with her mother and sister. She was very open to assistance and seemed to have very good support from her family. She was not interested in reporting the crime to law enforcement. She could articulate why she was making this decision . . . and had a pretty clear idea what she did want as well.

I could see from her mother’s reactions that mom didn’t really agree. I think the mother was hoping I would have some magic words to reverse her adult daughter’s decision. There was a quiet moment when I could talk to the mom on her own. I explained that it was important that her daughter be given the opportunity to make decisions for herself . . . that the perpetrator had taken the right to make decisions away from her daughter and that she would “heal” better, faster if we could restore decision making back to her, even if we don’t agree with those decisions.”

That doesn’t mean your experience is the same as everyone else’s, and it’s arrogant to assume otherwise. So while you don’t “give a fuck how difficult it is,” I’m not going to let you stick around and insult other rape survivors because they didn’t take the same action as you. I’m not going to let you stick around and say that women who don’t report their rapes — and you know, this isn’t even about me anymore — didn’t do the right thing, by making the decision to protect themselves. Everything else I could have to say to your remarks, I already said here.

And you are getting your warning. Not because I disagree with you, but because you are being insulting. Saying what you did and how you feel about the decision is different from pointing fingers at those who did differently. The former is absolutely in every way allowed. The latter is not.

In both cases the police were skeptical, tried to hint that it was my fault, tried to tell me there was no crime.

I went to court on both cases and was told that I was a liar by the defendant as well as his attorney whores.

I know what embarrassment, humiliation, and being called a liar feels like. But when you compare those feelings to the feelings of getting raped, its no contest. Yes its hard to come forward and you will suffer if you try to press charges. But that sufffering is absolutely MINISCULE compared to the suffering of future rape victims. Standing up for whats right is very hard, but its no excuse to not do whats in your power to put these animals away.

If I didnt stand up, who would? If not now, then when? After these guys run up 50 more rapes on their rap sheets?

I mean really what the fuck are we talking about here? Once you are raped, its about stopping the monster from doing it again. I dont give a fuck how difficult it is, its not as “difficult” as getting raped by a repeat sexual predator.

Again. Don’t. Have. The. Time.

And thank you, Kristen. What a horrific story.

“we have no choice” “there are guaranteed future victims”

Combined with:

“So its really not about the first victim as much as its about a lifelong pattern of continuous victims, which will surely come to pass if you decide not to press charges.”

Translates to:

Victims must report because unless they report there will be more victims.

The logical conclusion of which is:

The consequence “more victims” determined by the action of the current victim.

Hence,

The current victim is responsible for allowing future rapes to occur.

Those 2 statements are not even remotely similar.

Those are your words, not mine.