I study genocide, and, what I have learned in my studies is that if I am capable of killing in self-defense–and I am–then I am capable of genocide, because that is how it is always framed; that is how it develops. Genocide is the organized killing through the guise of artificialized self-defense under a calculating force such as a government. What we need to realize is that rape, as terrifying as it is, is nothing more than selfishly failing to consider the needs of others first, and that is something that we’re all capable of. That is, unfortunately, all too easily learned. Mine happened when I said “I’m not (physically) ready yet” and was told that I was. All I needed was some extra stimulation. What I got was beyond the inconvenience of waiting a couple more minutes.

There is nothing I could have done, myself, to prevent rape. In every other crime, the onus is always on the criminal. Nobody would ever argue that a victim of a hijacking, a robbery, or a murder was at fault (unless she’s a prostitute, but that’s another disgusting phenomenon entirely) for the action of the kidnapper, robber, or hijacker.

In the case of rape, it’s always the rape victim’s fault. If she was drunk, it was her fault for being drunk. If she was sober, it was her fault for not fighting. If she fought, it was her fault for not having a witness. If she had a witness, it was her fault for having DNA evidence. If she has DNA evidence, it is her fault for leaving the house with a vagina.

There are very very few people that don’t apologize for rapists and demonize rape victims. Which leads me to believe that every man is a potential rapist until proven otherwise and that every woman is someone who will apologize for them.

People may call this paranoia. I call it obvious.

Somehow women are supposed to take a million precautions that imply that every man she meets is a potential rapist without actually communicating this attitude.

It’s the height of male privilege to expect women to take the entire burden onto ourselves to prevent violence without ever hurting the precious feelings of men who do nothing to prevent rape by suggesting that we can’t trust them.

I also think that there’s a very strong socialization aspect with regards to rape. Because of all of the excuses made, men are also socialized to believe that in some cases, rape is acceptable. Of course, not all men undergo the same socialization, and not all men react to the socialization in the same way — which is how some men become rapists, some men become rape apologists (and therefore, in my book, potential rapists), and other men are not rapists. It’s more or less the “blank slate” theory — not all men will become rapists (in fact, most will not), but because of the social conditions under which they live, at some point it is possible that things could have taken a different turn (just like at some point my life could have taken a different turn and I’d have ended up a thief). The point of wide-spread anti-rape education is to ensure that more men take the right turn. And we have no way of knowing who the men will be that will take the wrong turn. The idea that this kind of education is insulting to men does more or less rely on the theory that rapists are born that way — and by extension, that rape is and always will be an inevitability. That’s dangerous for so many reasons.

very, very angry at the fact that it’s insinuated that all men are capable of rape because he’s a man and he’s not a rapist

The anger at the “all men are potential rapists” falls apart in the face of “potential how?” If it means want to, and will do given the chance, then no, not all men are potential rapists. However, given that most feminists don’t live their lives in a state of aggravated paranoia, and are willing to be within twenty feet of men, it can be assumed they don’t think so either.

It’s not something I’d do or want. I know that – but how many people in my life really know me well enough that they know it too? Not many. And the random woman I pass on the street with no one else around certainly isn’t one of them. So in that sense, I am a potential rapist, and so is every other man.

And the argument can be made that by that logic, everyone is a potential criminal. And that’s true, but no other crime is so backed up by societal excuse. No other crime has so many pre-made exceptions allowing this instance to “not really rape” or this perpetrator to be “not really like that.”

To use an example this guy cites, women are more likely than men to kill their children – statistically true – but the difference is that women who kill their children are condemned from all quarters, and will receive harsh punishment if caught. While men – who are overwhelmingly the most common perpetrators of rape – are more likely to be defended, excused, forgiven, and even lionised.

And when that attitude is so ubiquitous, women can be forgiven if they sometimes come off as a bit paranoid about men.

Although, the internet is great for therapy, oddly enough.