Brownfemipower: About Toby and Sexual Healing

I read some where that women are the one’s most often in the submissive position in BDSM relationships. Many feminists have argued that this fact is representative of the inherent violence and power imbalance in BDSM.

But if you give the women participating in these types of relationships the benefit that 1. they know what they are doing and 2. they are in a consensual relationship with their partner–could it be that they, like Toby, are not so much victims of The Patriarchy as it plays out in the bedroom, but active participants in confronting the worst scariest parts of their inner demons?

Could it be possible, that like Lieutenant Dan, their healing, their empowerment, comes from a vicious battle rather than gentle chanting?

Why is ‘healing’ always considered something that happens through beauty and joy? Why can’t ‘healing’ ever happen through ugly, bitter, painful means?

Is ‘healing’ the avoidance of pain, or is it the confrontation and acceptance–or the negotiation of pain?

If we consider the “negotiation of pain’ as necessary part of healing, can we look at BDSM as a safe (and hopefully loving) way for women to negotiate and be released from the chains of patriarchy, racism, ableism, colonialism, and all the other isms that violate women on a daily and historical basis?

Can we accept that even brutal sexuality can be deeply and profoundly healing?

Abyss2Hope: Debunking the Debunking of 2 Percent False Rape Report Claim: Part 1 and Part 2

Muslimah Media Watch: Shame on You: Shame Cartoons

PunditMom: Excuse Me, Senator McCain — What I Want For My Daughter Isn’t About Being Liberal or Conservative

Lots of good stuff is being written lately . . . go check it out.

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{ 1 comment }

1 PunditMom October 22, 2008 at 4:01 pm

Thanks for the kind words and the link!

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