SD Anti-Choicers are Sad that Women Still Have Rights

by Cara on November 24, 2008

in 2008 election, abortion, anti-choice extremism, assholes, legislation, misogyny, parenthood, paternalism, patriarchy, politics, religious fanaticism, reproductive justice, sexism, women’s health

*Sniffles*

I was at Planned Parenthood seven different times. I also was at the Campaign for Healthy Families’ place three times, where a young lady from Black Sheep Coffee shop brought me a cup of its great coffee on a cool day. She was a real sweetheart.

But all our efforts failed. The good people at Vote Yes For Life did the best they could but again were defeated.

The morals in this country have been on a slippery slope for many years and are getting worse, and with the liberal Democrats in full control, there is little chance of overturning Roe v. Wade for several years.

I have asked many people: “Did your Mother abort you?” Before they could answer, I answered for them, saying, “No, she did not. She gave you life.”

I have met many people who inspired me and also some who swore and gave me the middle-finger salute, but I expected that and remain fully committed that abortion is evil.

The end time is coming. The book of Revelation tells that all will be judged. The bad will be thrown into the fiery pit, and the good will live forever. I believe abortionists will be one of the first to go.

Well maybe if you weren’t wasting your time harassing people who are actually doing something — rather than, you know, convincing voters by knocking on doors and making phone calls like the people you harassed were — you might have had a better shot at winning.  Not that I’m giving advice, mind you.  Please, dear god, keep up your current dumbass tactics.

You know, I was posting this out of amusement to begin with, but I also just had a little realization.  The “well your mother didn’t have an abortion” argument is a common one, and it’s dreadfully stupid.  But the thing is, it also tells us an awful lot about how those who make it think about women.

The people who make this argument don’t consider that the woman wanted that pregnancy.  Or that maybe the woman wasn’t able to access abortion and was miserable about having to carry the pregnancy anyway.  There’s nothing in there at all about why the woman didn’t have an abortion, or it would ruin the whole already-miserable argument by suggesting that yes, the woman did have a choice.  Being a woman, in these people’s eyes, has nothing to do with what we want.  It has to do with what we do for other people.

My mother “gave me life.”  She didn’t want children.  She didn’t try to get pregnant and act excited because she always wanted to be a mother.  No, she just did her womanly duty, all that she’s good for, according to this guy.  Oh, he didn’t just insult me by saying that since I’m alive I have no right to an abortion or to support the right to abortion.  He didn’t just heavily imply that a woman who gives birth can’t be pro-choice.  He also insulted my mother by suggesting that her motivations for giving birth to me had jackshit to do with her.  He said that my mother’s wishes, wants, happiness and very life don’t mean all that much so long as they support his agenda.  And he said the same thing about your mother, too.

Of course, in the end, none of this matters.  All us heathens ought to be concerned about is finding a way out of getting thrown into that fiery pit!

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{ 17 comments }

1 SunlessNick November 24, 2008 at 1:50 pm

The morals in this country have been on a slippery slope for many years and are getting worse

Ever since the anti-abortion types refused to accept the clear moral lesson of Roe vs Wade – that women’s lives and bodies should not be appropriated to the disposal of men and foetuses – and evidenced by their little rat-bites on women ever since.

I have asked many people: “Did your Mother abort you?”

Obviously not. But that would have been her right.

The people who make this argument don’t consider that the woman wanted that pregnancy.

As I said to an earlier post, I suspect they have a warped perception of choice – that they don’t see continuing a pregnancy as something a woman can choose, but only as something she can accede to.

2 Anji November 24, 2008 at 2:50 pm

I left a comment there myself. Not sure if I’m being daft but I can’t see any comments to that article at the moment, even my own, though it’s showing on my profile there as having been posted. Anyway, here’s my response:

“No, she did not. She gave you life.”

This always makes me laugh. If my mother had NOT chosen abortion, I would not be here today. She had a termination at the age of nineteen and ten years later met my father and soon married him. Nine months after that I was born, two and a half years later, along came my younger sister.

If she’d had that baby, her life would have taken an utterly different track. She certainly would never have met my dad. Neither I nor my sister would be in existence at this moment.

“Did your Mother abort you?”

Don’t you love your mother? I love my mother very much. I love my mother so much that it would break my heart to think of her being forced into something as enveloping as carrying and birthing a child against her will. If she had aborted me, I wouldn’t know – and I’d rather that than to think of her, a strong and intelligent woman, being forced into a life-long situation that she did not choose for herself.

3 Cara November 24, 2008 at 2:56 pm

Anji — Thanks for leaving it. I usually say something similar (and have on this blog before). I love my mom. So if the choice was between her being happy or having me, I’d choose for her to not have me because 1. I wouldn’t know the difference and 2. I love my mom a lot.

4 Lindsay November 24, 2008 at 3:12 pm

If my mother had NOT chosen abortion, I would not be here today. She had a termination at the age of nineteen and ten years later met my father and soon married him. Nine months after that I was born, two and a half years later, along came my younger sister.

If she’d had that baby, her life would have taken an utterly different track. She certainly would never have met my dad. Neither I nor my sister would be in existence at this moment.

Ditto on that.

The author of the article included this bit, which demonstrates the slut-shaming of pregnant teen girls but complete avoidance of the men/boys who get the girls pregnant:

A teenager whose parents were members of the church was pregnant. Everyone dropped their jaws. Nobody could believe that one of their own could get herself pregnant.
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No mention who the boy was. It was her fault. Nothing was said after that. The story was hidden. For shame.

More telling than the author would probably care to admit.

5 Anna November 24, 2008 at 3:53 pm

‘Before they could answer, I answered for them’

I thought that rather neatly encapsulated everything I hate about pro-lifers.

6 Judith November 24, 2008 at 4:19 pm

I think what I hate most about the “well you weren’t aborted” argument is that they never stop to consider that maybe you weren’t aborted because it was the RIGHT time for your mother to have you. Some of our mothers had an abortion before they had us. Would that “potential baby” have had the kind of lives we have, as wanted, loved, embraced children who were born at the right time in our parents’ lives? Not to say that everyone has a great family or that their parents were particularly caring, but you get my point. It makes no sense to say that to someone who was born into a stable, happy, healthy, financially stable family. Who knows what choice YOUR mother would have made, sweetheart, if she had been in a difficult situation? Don’t judge us for our choices.

7 Nina November 24, 2008 at 8:36 pm

“Did your mother abort you?”

Lest we forget all the mothers who were forced by anti-choice morons to HAVE the babies they did not want and have subjected those children to years and years of resentment and sometimes hatred.

Abortionists the first to go into the fiery pit? Before rapists, murderers, child molesters and judgmental Fundies? Hmm…

8 Amy November 24, 2008 at 10:41 pm

This guy is hilarious:

A teenager whose parents were members of the church was pregnant. Everyone dropped their jaws. Nobody could believe that one of their own could get herself pregnant.

No mention who the boy was. It was her fault. Nothing was said after that. The story was hidden. For shame.

I find this part absolutely comical. She must have been the Virgin Mary! She got herself pregnant! And the boy had nothing to do with it. It was all her fault. Hey, christian guy! Its not a fault, its a child!

9 Anna November 25, 2008 at 12:58 am

My mother is pro-choice. I suspect part of why she’s pro-choice is because she got to choose when to have my brother and I. I know for a fact I was a wanted baby. I don’t need some forced-birther to tell me anything else.

10 Laurel November 25, 2008 at 5:57 am

After being sent away with her shame to live in a home for unwed mothers, my mother gave birth to me and put me up for adoption without naming me or looking at me.

It’s been 43 years now, and I’m pretty sure she still feels like a filthy sinner about this. It would have been so much better for her had her choices not been so limited.

11 Anna November 25, 2008 at 7:10 am

oh, and no, my mother didn’t abort me, but bloody well wanted to, and has not left a week of my existence go past without reminding me of the fact.

12 Cara November 25, 2008 at 8:47 am

Just so everyone knows, this Anna:

My mother is pro-choice. I suspect part of why she’s pro-choice is because she got to choose when to have my brother and I. I know for a fact I was a wanted baby. I don’t need some forced-birther to tell me anything else.

is not the same as the other Anna. Two different commenters.

13 SunlessNick November 25, 2008 at 9:06 am

((((Hugs the second Anna))))

14 Anna P. November 25, 2008 at 10:43 am

*hugs second Anna as well*

I cannot imagine.

It’s one of the thigns I hate about the idea that All Mothers Everywhere Always Love Their Children – it creates situations where people who have god-awful relationships with their mothers are often not believed when they try and talk abotu them. (Not that I’m saying this has happened to you, Anna, but it’s happened to my husband when he’s tried to talk about similiar issues.)

15 Jenna November 25, 2008 at 7:30 pm

“Did your Mother abort you?” Before they could answer, I answered for them, saying, “No, she did not. She gave you life.

Yes, she CHOSE to give me life. She was not compelled or required to do so. No Woman is.

Peace,
Jenna

16 Thealogian November 26, 2008 at 9:54 am

In high school, I had a great lunch group that was very political and we often debated/discussed politics and social issues. There was this one girl who would always freak out when we talked about abortion rights. She screamed, she cried, but mostly she told us over and over again how “she wasn’t supposed to be here, she wasn’t supposed to be alive” because her mother’s doctor recommended an abortion because she was an older woman with a heart condition and the pregnancy might kill her. Her mother decided to have her (faith, god, jesus, vodoo prayer yada yada yada). So, somehow this should mean that ALL ABORTIONS should be illegal. The logic never met the argument (in some way I think she had this vague idea that if women had faith–even those who had severe medical problems–”God” would take care of you and no woman, even for medical reasons, ever needed an abortion. Having faith was somehow a magic potion).

Anyway, it was hard to argue with her because she was so raw about it–so emotional and fragile and then one day I just laid it out there. I told her: “I’m sorry that your parents have been emotionally abusing you for all of your life, telling you this story by your cradle and at your sweet sixteen party. I’m sorry that they have done this to you–it is abusive. But, you have to understand that what other women do with their bodies does not erase your existence. It doesn’t make your life invalid. Your mother made a choice. Every woman, especially those who may very well die as a result of pregnancy, deserves a choice. Please stop thinking that when we talk about abortion, that we are talking about YOU.”

Anyway, the gist was the above. But, seriously, she was abused by her parents for religions and political purposes. She was one of those protesters at clinics who sobbed and wailed and seriously looked like she was going to have a seizure. It was nothing short of child abuse and her own obsessive ideation of the issue–again, as if to lose an argument on abortion could somehow bring about her own extinction.

I bet that that is more common among Fundies who do regard birth/childbirth as “Eve’s curse” more so than freely made choices about one’s family and body. When all you can imagine is the punishment, the inevitability of motherhood, the idea that your mother might have had another path in life if she felt empowered to make choices (like, say, not to marry your asshole Dad, maybe to work on her career, etc.) if you are as selfish and insecure as many on Patriarchy Rocks side, well, abortion is all about YOU.

peace

17 Mortality November 28, 2008 at 12:36 pm

I was planned for and wanted. My flatmate was not. Her mother would’ve had an abortion if it had been legal back then (my flatmate is 43, and abortion on demand was legalised in the 70′s in Sweden). As a result her mother and her have a terrible relationship. My flatmate says it would’ve probably been better for her mother to have an abortion…

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