http://thecurvature.com/2008/12/05/remedial-lessons-in-consent/ Sat, 28 Apr 2012 20:40:33 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 http://thecurvature.com/2008/12/05/remedial-lessons-in-consent/#comment-8935 Cara Fri, 12 Dec 2008 20:14:40 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/?p=2577#comment-8935 Jay, it says explicitly, right there, <i>insincere</i>. If you enter that "cooperation" <i>insincerely</i> with no intention of adhering to your part of said cooperation, that is <i>wrong</i> and it is <i>assault</i>. Further, if you don't feel the need to refresh consent after a minute before continuing when your partner has said "just a minute," there is something seriously fucking wrong with you, and yes you are in fact guilty of assault. Jay, it says explicitly, right there, insincere. If you enter that “cooperation” insincerely with no intention of adhering to your part of said cooperation, that is wrong and it is assault. Further, if you don’t feel the need to refresh consent after a minute before continuing when your partner has said “just a minute,” there is something seriously fucking wrong with you, and yes you are in fact guilty of assault.

]]> http://thecurvature.com/2008/12/05/remedial-lessons-in-consent/#comment-8934 Jay Fri, 12 Dec 2008 20:03:29 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/?p=2577#comment-8934 While I agree that society needs a lesson on consent, I'm actually not sure about this one. The way I see it, there's something cooperative about the 'just a few seconds' rationale. Both parties irrationally believe it, and I don't think we typically take 'just for a minute' to mean 'refresh consent in 59 seconds'. Rather, we take it to mean, 'this is dangerous and we both have to be vigilant about going too long'. Each party is relying on the other to prevent an outcome that is disadvantageous to both. (And really I don't see men offering it any more often then women, except insofar as men are more likely to be in the pull-out position instead of the get-off-me position.) While I agree that society needs a lesson on consent, I’m actually not sure about this one. The way I see it, there’s something cooperative about the ‘just a few seconds’ rationale. Both parties irrationally believe it, and I don’t think we typically take ‘just for a minute’ to mean ‘refresh consent in 59 seconds’. Rather, we take it to mean, ‘this is dangerous and we both have to be vigilant about going too long’. Each party is relying on the other to prevent an outcome that is disadvantageous to both. (And really I don’t see men offering it any more often then women, except insofar as men are more likely to be in the pull-out position instead of the get-off-me position.)

]]> http://thecurvature.com/2008/12/05/remedial-lessons-in-consent/#comment-8855 KG Sat, 06 Dec 2008 12:58:15 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/?p=2577#comment-8855 Hey, I'm usually a lurker, but I just wanted to say that I always admire your ability to find words for things I find so baffling. Thank you so much for sharing your inspired writing; it's great to see you back. Hey,
I’m usually a lurker, but I just wanted to say that I always admire your ability to find words for things I find so baffling. Thank you so much for sharing your inspired writing; it’s great to see you back.

]]> http://thecurvature.com/2008/12/05/remedial-lessons-in-consent/#comment-8854 Rj Sat, 06 Dec 2008 02:25:24 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/?p=2577#comment-8854 Great post! Society in general needs a lesson in consent. Sadly, people either don't know it, don't recognize it, or don't give a damn. Great post! Society in general needs a lesson in consent. Sadly, people either don’t know it, don’t recognize it, or don’t give a damn.

]]> http://thecurvature.com/2008/12/05/remedial-lessons-in-consent/#comment-8853 SunlessNick Sat, 06 Dec 2008 01:19:39 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/?p=2577#comment-8853 Welcome back. And Hugs. And good post. Welcome back. And Hugs. And good post.

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