Comments on: “If Only?” I Think Not.

By: Complaints shift ASCA “Wedding” child abuse ad to late-night — Hoyden About Town

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 05:44:59 +0000

[...] More at The Curvature, random babble , and the Hand [...]

By: On Speaking and Survival « don’t do that

On Speaking and Survival « don’t do that — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 20:13:02 +0000

[...] Monday, Cara posted this so I was already thinking about the minimizing and trivializing that happens to those of us who [...]

By: Yes, Statutory Rape Is Real Rape : The Curvature

Yes, Statutory Rape Is Real Rape : The Curvature — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 16:38:27 +0000

[...] think that this was one of the reasons why that “If Only” PSA hit so close to home and offended and triggered so many survivors. Because survivors of childhood [...]

By: Anna

Anna — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 01:26:23 +0000

It’s honestly okay, it’s what I’d been asking for ever since the psych discharged me this morning for being so positive about it all really!
I’m okay now. Helping make posters for Reclaim the Night tomorrow.. all my bitterness goes into feminism :)

By: Cara

Cara — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 22:31:22 +0000

Anna, I'm really sorry to hear that it triggered you so badly. If it would help to talk to someone, you should consider either RAINN's phone or online hotline.

By: Anna

Anna — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 22:02:27 +0000

molested by step-grandfather as a kid, watched video, went and threw up. literally. fuck you, PSA.
worst thing I’ve seen all year, and I sat through an ‘apparently funny’ oral rape scene at an ostensibly gay friend’s house the other week. didn’t think it could get worse than that, but cheers PSA, you proved me comprehensively wrong.
like so many others in this thread when I finally came out and told the world what he’d done it completely split apart my family. my stepfather’s mother stuck by him (due more to the size of his wallet than any misplaced sense of affection), his sister/my step-aunt kept taking her prepubescent daughter to their house and leaving her with them despite repeated warnings from the police and social worker until HER partner left her and so now she basically lives with them. stepfather doesnt speak to his mum or sister, his step-parents don’t speak to his other step-parents, there’s animosity and hatred on all sides and I’ve been told in no uncertain terms by several family members had I just kept my stupid mouth shut they’d all be sweetness and light.
why did I rant at such length about something I’ve spent maybe twelve years supressing and attempting to move on from? more than I’ve done for years? that fucking advert. christ almighty I feel bad.

By: Um…hi, I think ur doin it wrong… « random babble…

Um…hi, I think ur doin it wrong… « random babble… — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 15:05:03 +0000

[...] Cara, who gets the h/t on this, said, what disturbs me the most is the portrayal of the victim. I also [...]

By: anon

anon — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 11:11:40 +0000

rape and incest survivor freaking outomfg

By: OuyangDan

OuyangDan — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 08:56:27 +0000

Wow…just wow.

I am not a rape and incest survivor, and I had to switch to the transcript b/c it was too much. It was hard enough to be physically abused and have people try to convince me that it either didn’t happen or that I needed to get over it, or that it wasn’t as bad as I thought…but if I were a childhood rape survivor at the hands of a family member, this would probably enrage me all the more.

The language is so wrong…sex =/= rape, not in any universe.

By: harrietsdaughter

harrietsdaughter — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 00:05:16 +0000

I’m glad there was a transcript. I will not watch the video. I’m a survivor and I get that they wanted to send a message. However, the collateral damage that such an ad is sure to incur…. I don’t think it’s worth it.

I agree with the language used above – revolting. The memories that it brings up of how we all should just act as if everything is normal and lovely… sickening.

Cara – thanks for your work and for asking the question.