Comments on: This is Rape Culture http://thecurvature.com/2009/03/19/this-is-rape-culture/ Sun, 05 Feb 2012 14:47:57 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: m http://thecurvature.com/2009/03/19/this-is-rape-culture/#comment-11432 m Sun, 05 Apr 2009 21:39:06 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/?p=4441#comment-11432 The comments make me sick. How can anyone think that this type of treatment is acceptable? Rape culture sure has been integrating itself into society. I used to read Jezebel, stopped after getting fed up with their women-hating posts. Here are a couple examples, to support what I wrote. Reese Witherspoon http://jezebel.com/5063311/reese-witherspoon-in-vogue-like-tracy-flick-only-wealthier--more-annoying Ann Curry http://jezebel.com/5026680/its-official-the-today-show-is-making-me-crazy Well, at least they give reasons why they're dumb, annoying, and the absolute worst. (Please read the latter sentence as sarcasm.) The comments make me sick. How can anyone think that this type of treatment is acceptable? Rape culture sure has been integrating itself into society.

I used to read Jezebel, stopped after getting fed up with their women-hating posts. Here are a couple examples, to support what I wrote.

Reese Witherspoon
http://jezebel.com/5063311/reese-witherspoon-in-vogue-like-tracy-flick-only-wealthier–more-annoying

Ann Curry
http://jezebel.com/5026680/its-official-the-today-show-is-making-me-crazy

Well, at least they give reasons why they’re dumb, annoying, and the absolute worst. (Please read the latter sentence as sarcasm.)

]]> By: Phrases guaranteed to make me so angry my vision blurs « I am the Lizard Queen! http://thecurvature.com/2009/03/19/this-is-rape-culture/#comment-11294 Phrases guaranteed to make me so angry my vision blurs « I am the Lizard Queen! Wed, 25 Mar 2009 18:20:50 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/?p=4441#comment-11294 [...] I originally learned about this from Cara (to whom I should have given a hat-tip in the first place, but I got distracted by linking to [...] [...] I originally learned about this from Cara (to whom I should have given a hat-tip in the first place, but I got distracted by linking to [...]

]]> By: Emily http://thecurvature.com/2009/03/19/this-is-rape-culture/#comment-11208 Emily Sat, 21 Mar 2009 04:27:05 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/?p=4441#comment-11208 I just want to thank you guys for being respectful of the woman who posted the question. I can't imagine being in her situation, trying to get some advice on a painful and difficult event, and becoming (against her wishes) a sort of internet phenomenon. I think you handled this with compassion and classiness; I wish I could say the same for Jezebel. I just want to thank you guys for being respectful of the woman who posted the question.
I can’t imagine being in her situation, trying to get some advice on a painful and difficult event, and becoming (against her wishes) a sort of internet phenomenon. I think you handled this with compassion and classiness; I wish I could say the same for Jezebel.

]]> By: Daily Femmostroppo Reader - March 21, 2009 — Hoyden About Town http://thecurvature.com/2009/03/19/this-is-rape-culture/#comment-11200 Daily Femmostroppo Reader - March 21, 2009 — Hoyden About Town Fri, 20 Mar 2009 20:00:14 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/?p=4441#comment-11200 [...] This is Rape Culture [...] [...] This is Rape Culture [...]

]]> By: ilyka http://thecurvature.com/2009/03/19/this-is-rape-culture/#comment-11193 ilyka Fri, 20 Mar 2009 16:56:57 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/?p=4441#comment-11193 Oh well SHIT now what do I do about mine?--I quoted you! Just your remarks about the MeFi comments, but--aarrgh. Please tell me what you would prefer me to do and I'll do it. Oh well SHIT now what do I do about mine?–I quoted you! Just your remarks about the MeFi comments, but–aarrgh. Please tell me what you would prefer me to do and I’ll do it.

]]> By: ilyka http://thecurvature.com/2009/03/19/this-is-rape-culture/#comment-11191 ilyka Fri, 20 Mar 2009 16:55:38 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/?p=4441#comment-11191 Oh Cara, it was a beautiful post. It IS a beautiful post. I understand your concern (and that you have that concern is filed in a very thick folder I keep called "Reasons Why I Heart Cara,") but honestly, nothing here comes off as "ew" to me. Of course, I'm not this woman, either. I don't know. I guess I just hate that you're further upset by it all, and I want you to know that I think your intent was pure. Oh Cara, it was a beautiful post. It IS a beautiful post. I understand your concern (and that you have that concern is filed in a very thick folder I keep called “Reasons Why I Heart Cara,”) but honestly, nothing here comes off as “ew” to me. Of course, I’m not this woman, either. I don’t know. I guess I just hate that you’re further upset by it all, and I want you to know that I think your intent was pure.

]]> By: No Feminism of Mine « Off Our Pedestals http://thecurvature.com/2009/03/19/this-is-rape-culture/#comment-11190 No Feminism of Mine « Off Our Pedestals Fri, 20 Mar 2009 16:46:57 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/?p=4441#comment-11190 [...] Colorado Radio host Trevor Carey disavow remarks condoning violence against transgender peoplefairThis is Rape CultureMe and My Double ChinsHonors Student Punished for Peaceful ProtestIt’s not the artform, it’s the [...] [...] Colorado Radio host Trevor Carey disavow remarks condoning violence against transgender peoplefairThis is Rape CultureMe and My Double ChinsHonors Student Punished for Peaceful ProtestIt’s not the artform, it’s the [...]

]]> By: Cara http://thecurvature.com/2009/03/19/this-is-rape-culture/#comment-11189 Cara Fri, 20 Mar 2009 16:22:38 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/?p=4441#comment-11189 The post has been removed. The post has been removed.

]]> By: Turtle Wexler http://thecurvature.com/2009/03/19/this-is-rape-culture/#comment-11188 Turtle Wexler Fri, 20 Mar 2009 15:31:59 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/?p=4441#comment-11188 Cara, I don't think you did anything wrong in this post. It's a fine line to walk -- so fine that sometimes it's not even there, and there's no perfect post. I wanted to share the response with you because I believe that you feel it's important to take the victim's choices in mind, and I think referencing or linking to the Jezebel post is not in her best interests. That said, commenting about the (uneven and weird) response at Ask Metafilter -- not her story, the comments -- seems ok to me. Of course, if you feel you want to take it down, it's also a fine move. Cara, I don’t think you did anything wrong in this post. It’s a fine line to walk — so fine that sometimes it’s not even there, and there’s no perfect post. I wanted to share the response with you because I believe that you feel it’s important to take the victim’s choices in mind, and I think referencing or linking to the Jezebel post is not in her best interests. That said, commenting about the (uneven and weird) response at Ask Metafilter — not her story, the comments — seems ok to me. Of course, if you feel you want to take it down, it’s also a fine move.

]]> By: Cara http://thecurvature.com/2009/03/19/this-is-rape-culture/#comment-11185 Cara Fri, 20 Mar 2009 14:55:29 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/?p=4441#comment-11185 <blockquote>Her email address is available via the original Ask Metafilter post, fwiw.</blockquote> Yeah, but I don't know that any of what I have to say would actually be considered helpful by her, rather than intrusive. Or condemning of her decision, even though it certainly would not be my intent. I don't know what to do at this point. I'm seriously considering just deleting this post. I put it up because I was so upset that this man did this to his girlfriend, and that other people were justifying and excusing his rape, and because I wanted to be a voice that is on her side. And now I don't know that she would see this as being on her side at all. It's a fine line to walk in situations of relationship violence between being supportive of a victim's decisions without promoting them, and recognizing fully that this is the violent party's fault without putting the victim on the defensive in his favor (which she already seems to be), and supporting a victim without speaking for her, and I can't say that I'm skilled at doing it. This has all been very triggering and difficult for me and I'm feeling emotionally spent.

Her email address is available via the original Ask Metafilter post, fwiw.

Yeah, but I don’t know that any of what I have to say would actually be considered helpful by her, rather than intrusive. Or condemning of her decision, even though it certainly would not be my intent.

I don’t know what to do at this point. I’m seriously considering just deleting this post. I put it up because I was so upset that this man did this to his girlfriend, and that other people were justifying and excusing his rape, and because I wanted to be a voice that is on her side. And now I don’t know that she would see this as being on her side at all. It’s a fine line to walk in situations of relationship violence between being supportive of a victim’s decisions without promoting them, and recognizing fully that this is the violent party’s fault without putting the victim on the defensive in his favor (which she already seems to be), and supporting a victim without speaking for her, and I can’t say that I’m skilled at doing it.

This has all been very triggering and difficult for me and I’m feeling emotionally spent.

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