Thank you for your comment. I addressed this when this post was cross-posted at Racialicious. The term I used was “hyper-sexualized,” not “hyper-sexual.” The term hyper-sexual describes what you describe up above. The term hyper-sexualized describes these attitudes being unfairly thrust upon another person. Thus, what was intended by the statement is not that black men are more sexual than men of any other race, but that they are portrayed that way. With these racist attitudes being so rampant, I should have been more careful, and written something along the lines of “it’s certainly true that black men are hyper-sexualized by our culture and media” instead. I apologize again for my unclear phrasing, and the distress that it has caused.

And then afterwards, I started reading the comments…

Though it’s not my place, I too am a little disgusted with toysoldier’s comments. While it’s sad to hear that he had a rape experience as well, it is quite clear to me that he either a)misunderstood Cara’s article or b)didn’t read it in its entirety (which is a big no-no).

Despite what others are saying, toysoldier did quite clearly bash feminists, as well as female victims, whether he intended to or not. And for that, I feel deeply annoyed.

Anyway, just wanted to express my opinion. Thank you for this good topic, Cara. The more it is made known, the better!

-Alex

He didn’t consent (he couldn’t– he was a child!) therefore he was raped. I would think that wouldn’t be too difficult for people to see, but unfortunately we can’t always add that proverbial 2+2.

He came in here with a comment stating that feminists don’t take male rape victims seriously

And chose a post where a feminist was doing exactly that.

If you don’t get why Cara took that as a bit of an insult, it’s because she blogs primarily about sexual assault and rape apologism, cataloguing the many, many cases where female rape victims are anything but taken seriously.

She responded with anger. I get why that might be off-putting. But I deeply believe victims should be allowed to respond with anger — to shut down anger is to deny their experiences. Yeah, it was harsh. But it was harshness in response to harshness. At least recognize there were two sides to this exchange.

That’s because I blog on these issues every day of my life and can back it up with articles

I have no doubt that you can. It does not change the fact that it is shocking to me. In fact, the opposite.

Yes, I agree that it’s evident, and I said as much, quite explicitly. I said that racism played a very clear role here.

Please bear in mind that the text you quote was me (finally) coming to this realization.

I’m starting to get the impression that you didn’t read the post very carefully

And I get the impression that you like a good fight. ;)

Still, I thank you for your post, and your responses, which are truly commendable, however acidic they may be.

And finally, for anyone who’s upset about Cara’s response to toysoldier–seriously, when anyone–yes, even another survivor–tells a rape victim who has actively seen and felt the damage of rape apologism first-hand that there are no rape apologists and that everyone takes rape seriously when the victim is female–that is totally bannable behavior. Full stop.