A young man states he and his friend got drunk at a party and had sex. “We both woke up and regretted it, so we didn’t talk about it.” And he was surprised and hurt to learn that later, she had told a friend that he had torn her clothes and raped her.

Later, he states, “There might be a “no” and there might be a “please,” but it’s not the same. It’s not rape.”

So regardless of whether he had torn her clothes or not, he admits that she “might” have said “no” or “please.” Sounds like rape to me. And since she was pretty clear in what she said, and he can’t seem to be, I’m inclined more to believe her side of story, including the torn clothing.

In another example, “a woman might be found curled up on the lawn one morning and say that she was raped, but it might not be entirely the case.” Oh? And how did she get there? Did they have sex on the lawn and then he got up and left? And he didn’t think it was strange that she remained on the lawn? He just…left her there? That doesn’t make a lot of sense and doesn’t seem very “gray” to me either. It sounds like he raped her and left her.