Comments on: Abstinence Counselor Charged With Sexual Assault of Student http://thecurvature.com/2009/05/15/abstinence-counselor-charged-with-sexual-assault-of-student/ Fri, 19 Mar 2010 07:52:20 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Monday Morning Links | Change Happens: The SAFER Blog http://thecurvature.com/2009/05/15/abstinence-counselor-charged-with-sexual-assault-of-student/#comment-12444 Monday Morning Links | Change Happens: The SAFER Blog Mon, 18 May 2009 16:25:21 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/?p=5275#comment-12444 [...] at The Curvature has a really interesting discussion of how abstienence education distorts the “no means [...] [...] at The Curvature has a really interesting discussion of how abstienence education distorts the “no means [...]

]]> By: Zach http://thecurvature.com/2009/05/15/abstinence-counselor-charged-with-sexual-assault-of-student/#comment-12437 Zach Sun, 17 May 2009 18:41:52 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/?p=5275#comment-12437 Thank you for this. I've long thought that a rape can occur without a verbal expression that expresses the concept "no." Consent, in other words, isn't just in language. Surely, for something as intimate as sexual activity, consent is automatically withheld until actions of BOTH parties in some way confirm it. It just bothers me that I can't articulate what sort of "way" it might be. Thank you for this. I’ve long thought that a rape can occur without a verbal expression that expresses the concept “no.” Consent, in other words, isn’t just in language. Surely, for something as intimate as sexual activity, consent is automatically withheld until actions of BOTH parties in some way confirm it. It just bothers me that I can’t articulate what sort of “way” it might be.

]]> By: Jet http://thecurvature.com/2009/05/15/abstinence-counselor-charged-with-sexual-assault-of-student/#comment-12422 Jet Sat, 16 May 2009 00:34:27 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/?p=5275#comment-12422 "It teaches of a supposed responsibility for women to say no, and to do a damn good job of it." Yes. This. Still cast in a mother role, with the responsibility to discipline, even when the power dynamic is so skewed. Such. Bullshit. “It teaches of a supposed responsibility for women to say no, and to do a damn good job of it.”

Yes. This. Still cast in a mother role, with the responsibility to discipline, even when the power dynamic is so skewed. Such. Bullshit.

]]> By: SunlessNick http://thecurvature.com/2009/05/15/abstinence-counselor-charged-with-sexual-assault-of-student/#comment-12416 SunlessNick Fri, 15 May 2009 18:30:25 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/?p=5275#comment-12416 Great post. Great post.

]]> By: Thomas MacAulay Millar http://thecurvature.com/2009/05/15/abstinence-counselor-charged-with-sexual-assault-of-student/#comment-12415 Thomas MacAulay Millar Fri, 15 May 2009 18:29:38 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/?p=5275#comment-12415 Cara, couldn't agree more. Patriarchy puts all the responsibility on women and deprives them of the power; it gives men power and relieves them of responsibility. This is transparently a recipe for disaster. As a parent, I'll say that I think the most important thing I can do it to raise all my children to be both empowered and responsible. By that I mean to say that they should have the freedom and ability to communicate accurately about their sexual needs and desires, and the responsibility to be sexual with partners only when all participants affirmatively consent. Cara, couldn’t agree more. Patriarchy puts all the responsibility on women and deprives them of the power; it gives men power and relieves them of responsibility. This is transparently a recipe for disaster.

As a parent, I’ll say that I think the most important thing I can do it to raise all my children to be both empowered and responsible. By that I mean to say that they should have the freedom and ability to communicate accurately about their sexual needs and desires, and the responsibility to be sexual with partners only when all participants affirmatively consent.

]]> By: abyss2hope http://thecurvature.com/2009/05/15/abstinence-counselor-charged-with-sexual-assault-of-student/#comment-12413 abyss2hope Fri, 15 May 2009 15:56:49 +0000 http://thecurvature.com/?p=5275#comment-12413 Cara, I tweeted on this case but I'm glad you expanded on the accepted thinking behind this man's crime. If he physically tried to "educate" any other girls, he is guilty of attempting to rape those girls. Blocking him doesn't undo the trauma of being assaulted by someone you are told to trust. In today's Carnival Against Sexual Violence one of the posts is about the disturbing contents of an abstinence only handbook. Cara, I tweeted on this case but I’m glad you expanded on the accepted thinking behind this man’s crime.

If he physically tried to “educate” any other girls, he is guilty of attempting to rape those girls. Blocking him doesn’t undo the trauma of being assaulted by someone you are told to trust.

In today’s Carnival Against Sexual Violence one of the posts is about the disturbing contents of an abstinence only handbook.

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