Comments on: On Gender and Sexual Insults

By: Froth

Froth — Thu, 28 May 2009 13:18:26 +0000

You don’t often hear female gentitalia insulted, because female genitalia IS an insult. Pussy. Cunt. Twat.
There’s also dick, which implies that a man thinks with that organ, and which is never used to insult women. It wouldn’t be an insult if applied to a woman – it would suggest they had a penis, a good thing.
But calling a man female-genitalia is a dreadful and unforgivable insult, too awful to be printed or repeated.

Penises are insulted because in order to deride a man, it is useful to suggest that he has an inadequate penis and is therefore not really a man at all.

By: PennyArcadia

PennyArcadia — Thu, 28 May 2009 11:06:25 +0000

Talk about totally misconstruing what the Lily Allen song is about. Personally I think the song has nothing triumphant. She did write a song with all kinds of ‘gotcha’s about someone being bad in bed (Not Big), but even there she was honest about the fact that she knew what she was doing, that she used it to get back at him. I didn’t see it as very triumphant either.

One thing I wonder about this though, and this may just be my male perspective, but why is it that insults about penis size and sexual prowess seem to be such a low blow. After reading through the OP I don’t really have a good answer for that.

I suppose it’s because such insults are seen as directly targeting someone’s masculinity – as defined by penis size and sexual prowess. And male sexual prowess is usually measured in terms of how often and with whom he can get off… not whether his partners get off. Because that’s about female sexuality. I think that’s where the taboo lies: on the fact that women are active participants who equally want to enjoy sex. And many people just don’t know how to deal with that.

By: Helen

Helen — Wed, 20 May 2009 09:38:52 +0000

That writer's theory certainly doesn't hold water here in Australia, where we've had Wives are all Lousy Lovers and OMG Slutzz!!!

By: Femmostroppo Reader - May 20, 2009 — Hoyden About Town

Femmostroppo Reader - May 20, 2009 — Hoyden About Town — Tue, 19 May 2009 23:00:32 +0000

[...] On Gender and Sexual Insults [...]

By: Mephit

Mephit — Tue, 19 May 2009 21:32:22 +0000

I worked in the pub trade for a long time, so it wasn’t a matter of hanging out with such crowds by choice, as such, more a hazard of the job :).

I’d agree that it isn’t widely represented in the media, which I guess is interesting in itself. Somehow, apparently, female genitalia is more obscene than male.

By: Thomas MacAulay Millar

Thomas MacAulay Millar — Tue, 19 May 2009 15:10:03 +0000

It’s also about constructions of who is active during male-female sex (the man does all the work, she just lays there)

Yes, this. Subject/object dichotomy, with men assumed cis- and het- and constructed as agents, and women assumed cis- and het- and constructed as objects acted on. Men are graded on performance, women on appearance, consistent with this assumed dynamic.

The hetero- and penetrocentric modeling of sex allows this construction to stick around when it is irrelevant to many people’s lives, and to the extent it is relevant it is harmful and limiting. Sex as an interaction between two (or more) active participants is the reality for many, and ought to be the default in how we analyze it. (That is to say, “object to be acted on” ought to be a kink, of interest only to people with a specific interest in it, rather than an assumed norm).

By: Cara

Cara — Tue, 19 May 2009 13:36:32 +0000

I don’t honestly think that is less common than insulting men with small penis jokes.

Maybe we’re hanging out with different crowds? I avoid the kinds of dudes who say misogynistic things as much as I can like the plague, so that might have something to do with it. I would argue though that small penis jokes are seen as regularly acceptable in a wider range of media. You can find those jokes regularly in primetime sitcoms, it seems to me. While I’ve seen the kind of jokes you’re talking about in movies, I’ve never seen it on tv. I do however see all kinds of jokes about a woman being fat or ugly or slutty . . . just without overt references to genitalia.

Which again, could just be me.

By: Mephit

Mephit — Tue, 19 May 2009 13:29:12 +0000

I do think that women’s genitalia is a source of insult in similar ways, although of course it ties into “sluttiness” or “used goods”. Tends to be things like “shaking a stick in a bucket”/”Dartford tunnel” and so forth.

I don’t honestly think that is less common than insulting men with small penis jokes.

By: Being Amber Rhea » Blog Archive » links for 2009-05-19

Being Amber Rhea » Blog Archive » links for 2009-05-19 — Tue, 19 May 2009 12:31:26 +0000

[...] On Gender and Sexual Insults : The Curvature "So the difference is that both sexes hit each other where it hurts. After all, that’s the whole point of unleashing insults after a breakup, anyway — hurting your ex as much as you possibly can. So a woman may in some cases mock a male partner’s penis size. A man, on the other hand, will call his (ex-)female partner ugly, fat, a cow, or slut/whore, or even better, sloppy seconds. Which, again, in a society that links female sexual worth to appearance and also to chastity, are easily as equally repugnant, hateful and damaging as any crack about penis size, if not more so. Pretending that women are therefore the only ones who engage in this type of behavior is disingenuous at best and misogynistic at worst." (tags: language sexism gender society feminism misogyny) [...]

By: Hannah

Hannah — Tue, 19 May 2009 12:18:46 +0000

I’m not defending what either one of them say, but I can’t help but feel that Katie is a product of her culture – her entire career has been based on the size of her breasts as a validation point, it wouldn’t suprise me if that is one of the ways she has internalised for looking at a person.

That and that anything they say in interviews is to be taken with a pinch of salt, they are both masters of the press.