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“A dream you dream alone is only a dream; a dream you dream together is reality.” — Yoko Ono
Jun
5
Man Arranges Rape of His Wife Via Craigslist Ad
Filed Under misogyny, patriarchy, rape and sexual assault, violence against women and girls | Posted by Cara |
Trigger Warning
As I said yesterday, referring to a man who allegedly raped his girlfriend while broadcasting the assault on the internet via webcam: the world just keeps getting more and more repulsive.
Today, we have a story of a man who allegedly sought out someone to rape his wife via a Craigslist ad. That would of course be more than enough to make this a horrific story, but unfortunately he also actually found someone to do it. The rapist assaulted the woman in her home while brandishing a knife, as her husband watched:
Police responded to the home at about 2:45 a.m. after receiving a 911 call indicating a male armed with a knife appeared in the couple’s bedroom and sexually assaulted the man’s wife, authorities said.
The man was present at the time of the assault, and two young children were in the home, but were unharmed and unaware of the incident, the police statement said.
“During the investigation, investigators interviewed the victim and her husband,” the statement said. “Investigators became suspicious when they noticed there was no sign of forced entry to the home. Investigators also developed information that led them to note specific inconsistencies in the initial statement provided by [the man].”
But on Tuesday, police found that the man “had responded to at least two personal ads on Craigslist.com in an effort to arrange for someone to come to his home and have sex with his wife using some type of scare tactic.”
“Investigators believe [he] arranged this incident without the knowledge or consent of the victim,” the police statement said.
[. . . ]
The man faces charges including first-degree rape, two counts of first-degree sexual offense and one count of attempted first-degree sexual offense, according to the police statement.
It is of course good news that the police have recognized that the man who contracted his wife’s rape is absolutely guilty of assault. And he should, without a doubt, be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
But I’m also exceedingly concerned that I see nothing here about charges being laid against the man who entered the home and physically committed the assault. CNN doesn’t even bother mentioning a word about charges against him; the AP reports that police are looking for him but have declined to state whether or not they will press charges.
I sincerely hope that others find this as grossly disturbing as I do.
If this man penetrated the woman in any way, he is guilty of rape. Period. This is not complicated. The fact that the victim’s husband initiated the idea of the assault makes little difference with regards to whether or not the man is guilty. Nor does a single word that the husband said to him. The husband could have told all the lies in the world. “She likes it, she wants a stranger to come in with a knife and pretend to rape her.” Putting aside for the moment the transparency and sketchiness of such a statement, it doesn’t fucking matter. He didn’t get direct consent from the woman. And that makes this rape. He should be charged with rape.
Though I’m totally pleased with the concept of the husband being charged with rape as well, he is not guilty of rape on the other man’s behalf. Rather, the guilt is split among them.
I know that this is going to sound real crazy and, like, totally radical. But. Men don’t own their wives. Really, they don’t! I know it’s hard to stay up to date, but it’s been this way for a few years now. And so, if women are not property, our husbands can not legally sell us off to other men. Which, regardless of whether or not any money changed hands, is essentially what these men attempted to do. Seemingly the police have gotten this point enough to realize that what the husband — the seller — did was wrong, but not enough to realize that the rapist — the buyer — is equally culpable. But guess what. He is.
On the face of it, it seems that it’s absolutely impossible to make anything about this story any more outrageous and stomach-turning. But if the man who physically committed the rape gets away uncharged, the Kannapolis will have managed to do precisely that.
Marcella has more. Thanks to Bookwhore for the link.
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“Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less.” — Susan B. Anthony
WHAT IS THIS I DON’T EVEN=
Why would some guy even *want* this in the first place?
Because he’s a sick and twisted, misogynistic sexual predator?
I agree completely. If the guy who agreed to rape this woman had in fact thought it was consensual (I know this is not the case, but following the possible “argument” that the guy paid to perform the rape might use), shouldn’t he have, given the nature of the act, SPOKEN to the wife to ensure this was the case? How did he know whether the man’s wife had given her husband the authority to act on her behalf? How could ANYONE fail to ask these questions?
I actually didn’t know this site existed, so I checked it out.I dunno about their whole pledge to start screening the “personals” section. Out of interest I went to the NC personals section and found this ad pretty disturbing. On the disclaimer page, it STILL says, “I agree to flag as “prohibited” anything illegal or in violation of the craigslist terms of use.” And I highly doubt they will ever make it anything other than the public’s responsibility to flag stuff that violates their terms of use. Funnily enough under section 7b it prohibits the use of pornographic images on its site. Seeing as almost half the ads I went to were in fact pornographic, this says, ah, a lot about the ineffectiveness of putting the onus of reporting term violations on the public :/
Uggh. The perpetrator honestly believing that the woman wanted it? Possibly in plea mitigation, when associated with a true sense of remorse, and a willingness to do community service on top of given sentance to, eg, educate others that you cannot take a person’s word for a *different* person’s consent.
But as something to take away being charged altogether? That doesn’t reinforce that it’s wrong to assume consent based on another person’s word. That says quite clearly that it’s *reasonable* to accept a 3rd party’s word on a person’s consent.
Which it so fucking isn’t.
Grrrr…
Oh when I say “If the guy who agreed to rape this woman had in fact thought it was consensual” I mean he thought it was sex. Looking back we know it was rape. Mixed tense and bad wording- really not excusable. Sorry.
I think you are being a little pessimistic. I got the impression, from reading, that it ‘went without saying’ that the intruder would be charged with rape.
I hope you’re right, Kandela. But I long ago learned to not do optimistic readings of police statements regarding sexual assault.
It is not enough to think a sexual act is consensual it must be confirmed enthusiastically. The rapist gets no breaks from me. He broke the law and needs to be charged with an offense.
Another thing I really don’t understand is why nobody on Craig’s List flagged that post — I used to do Craig’s List ads for an old guy who wasn’t very good with computers, and when he firmly instructed me (totally against my advice) to put up an ad seeking a dog that he could breed with his purebred, the ad went down almost immediately because such ads are against their policy (understandably). Good to know that Craig’s List and their users are more interested in preventing unlicensed dog breeding than in preventing rape.
As far as the guy from criagslist; even if charges were brought he would have a strong defense of “mistake of fact”
Assuming that the husband told the man that he is trying to act out a rape fantasy for his wife, who shares the fantasy.
The one of judgment over the possibility of woman having such a fantasy is narrow thinking.
For the me the only question is whether a reasonable person would believe that the wife had such a fantasy, without first discussing the fantasy with the wife.
No, Iamsotah, the only question is whether a man can give sexual consent to another man on behalf of his wife.
Clearly, you seem to think that the answer is “yes,” or at least “maybe.” Which means you can get off my blog.
Just when I think people can’t get any sicker. I hope *both* of them get charged and convicted.
“I got the impression, from reading, that it ‘went without saying’ that the intruder would be charged with rape.”
One of the articles I read on the assault said they were absolutely laying charges against the husband for everything, but that they needed to investigate further with regards to the man who physically attacked the woman. If they can demonstrate that he knew it was non-consensual or that he made no effort to verify that the woman was consenting, they’ve got him dead to rights. If the husband contacted the man posing as his wife, on the other hand, they may only be able to conclusively demonstrate something like negligence due to failure to verify consent via a less falsifiable medium.
I can’t imagine how the victim must feel. First she’s the victim of a stranger-rape in her own home, then it’s discovered that the man she’s been with for over a decade, with whom she shared a home, with whom she has two children, orchestrated the attack. Horror doesn’t even begin to cover it.
I was thinking it was possible that the husband posed as his wife on craigslist, so that the assailant thought he had the woman’s consent, and that “she” told him that her husband would watch, so when the husband did nothing, the assailant assumed that “she” had told the truth.
I can’t just answer any old ad that says come and have violent sex with me at this address. Anyone can post such an ad. A jilted lover. An ex spouse. A hated neighbor. It would be my responsibilty to seriously check the situation out and find out if the person is really consenting. If not I would be guilty of rape and deserving of a harsh sentance for being predatory and stupid. Sometimes being stupid is a crime. The rapist in question is really, really stupid. He should be locked up for it.
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