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“A dream you dream alone is only a dream; a dream you dream together is reality.” — Yoko Ono
Feb
27
Top 5 George Harrison Vocals
Filed Under Gratuitous Beatles Blogging, fun, pop culture | 11 Comments
This past Thursday, February 25th, was George Harrison’s birthday. He would have turned 67.And with it, we mark the (admittedly probably intermittent) return of Gratuitous Beatles Blogging.
I’ve always had a special place in my heart for the Quiet Beatle, but as I’ve begun an obsession with collecting vinyl records over these past several months,1 I’ve explored his solo work a bit more fully and found my love towards him grow tremendously.
George was a fabulous songwriter, a stellar musician, topnotch guitarist, and a very witty man. But he’s not normally praised for his vocals.
That’s understandable. For one, with his main legacy belonging to the Beatles, he’s greatly overshadowed in terms of vocal talent by both John and Paul. For another, his voice wasn’t that particularly strong. He didn’t possess a large range. He couldn’t hold a note for a very long time. Myself, I’ve always referred to George as the world’s greatest backup singer — not as an insult in the least, but as recognition that his vocal backing in the Beatles was routinely amazing. In that sense, his voice certainly was versatile, and whatever John or Paul was doing, he made it work. He didn’t just allow John and Paul to overshadow him, he also made them better.
At the same time, I consider it a serious mistake to simply overlook George’s lead vocal work. His voice had weaknesses and faults, but he also taught himself not only how to control them, but how to use them to his advantage. Further, I think that if you approach vocals looking only at how large of a range a singer has and how long he or she can hold a note, you’re cheating yourself out of an awful lot. After all, “errors” are a part of the beauty. Singing isn’t only about sound; it’s also about communication and connection. And there, I cannot accuse George of any serious deficiency.
1. My Sweet Lord
This choice may strike many as either an odd or easy pick. It was George’s biggest solo hit, making it easy, and the vocals taken on their own aren’t that particularly spectacular, making it odd. But just like with my love of John’s Stand By Me,2 it’s not as much about the sound George makes while singing this song, it’s about the passion with which he does so. When George sings “I really want to know you, I really want to go with you,” I’ll be damned if you don’t believe him.
This song is praise, and it’s a prayer, but it’s also a plea. He’s saying, “Please, Lord, please, help me find my way to you.” And while not at all sharing George’s passion or path towards spirituality, I can’t help but be entirely moved by that devotion and that need. I think that all of us have likely, at some point, felt a deep and unrelenting need for something, a need that we didn’t quite know how to fulfill, but felt like we would be lost if we didn’t. George’s vocal here speaks to that.
Feb
20
Yes, Abuse Is Your Business
Filed Under assholes, misogyny, patriarchy, pop culture, rape and sexual assault, violence against women and girls | 25 Comments
This video (sorry, embedding is disabled) is of Ewan McGregor on Good Morning America. The part of the video that I’m going to talk about (beginning at :38), discussing McGregor’s recent film made with Roman Polanski, is transcribed below:
George Stephanopoulos: [Roman Polanski]’s also of course going through his troubles right now, being held in Switzerland for, uh … because he’s been extradited for that sex charge [from] many, many years ago. Do think he’s getting what he deserved?
Ewan McGregor: I don’t know, I don’t comment on his case, because it has nothing to do with me. I, I, worked with him as actor, with a director for … I’ve known him for less than I year and … uh, so I don’t make any comment on the case, because it’s, it’s none of my business.
It has nothing to do with me. It’s none of my business.
Now, I don’t know Ewan McGregor from anyone else. I’ve only ever seen one or two of his films, and didn’t walk away with much of an impression in either direction. With regards to Ewan McGregor, I have neither any prior disdain nor affection. He’s just a guy. And, indeed, what McGregor said here is quite arguably not as bad as what Johnny Depp said on the same subject. But people have talked a lot about the kind of thing that Depp said (rationalizations for why Polanski’s rape wasn’t “really” rape, or isn’t worthy of punishment). We’ve talked a lot less about McGregor’s assertion that the subject doesn’t concern him.
I fully understand not wanting to get involved in situations that you were not already a part of, especially when they’re labeled “controversial.” And I also understand not wanting to trash talk your boss — though I don’t understand actively choosing to work for a rapist boss, when there are probably a whole lot of bosses looking to hire you.
But the fact is that “It’s none of my business” is a big problem. Not only because McGregor is essentially saying that rape is not important to him, but also because he’s not the only one who speaks these words. These words are extremely, extremely common.
And they’re words that allow abuse to continue.
All kinds of abuse, whether they be sexual, physical, or emotional — though most commonly when the victim is a marginalized person — are supported through the assertion that it doesn’t concern me. It’s not my problem. I don’t want to get involved. Why should I have an opinion? That’s a private matter. Abuse is allowed to continue because all kinds of people decide that it has nothing to do with them. Victims go unsupported because outsiders don’t want to take a side. Perpetrators are allowed to continue their violence because it doesn’t matter to those who aren’t being abused.
When you say that abuse has nothing to do with you, what you’re actually saying is that abuse has everything to do with you. By deciding to turn away from abuse, to not comment, to not stand up against it, to say that you want to stay out of it, you are taking a side. The side of silence is the side of the abuser. The side of apathy is the side of abuse.
Abuse is all of our business. It affects all of us, whether directly or indirectly. Because we are all a part of a society that is responsible for it. And when a victim speaks out and makes an allegation — whether it be a formal one or not — it is our business, and it is our job to stand by that victim. It is our job to remind ourselves and those around us that abuse thrives on good people doing nothing, on good people saying nothing, on people deciding that people who are not them, especially those who are marginalized, are not really their concern.
It is Ewan McGregor’s prerogative to not comment on Polanski’s rape. It is all of our prerogative to stay quiet about any and all types of abuse, sometimes for even quite compelling and legitimate personal reasons. But we need to know and acknowledge and take responsibility for the fact that we are not neutral when we do so. And when we say that it is none of our business, we are not only letting victims down and allowing perpetrators to prosper, we are also lying through our teeth.
Feb
15
Book Review: Promises I Can Keep
Filed Under books, class and economics, feminism, media, parenthood, paternalism, reproductive justice, reviews | 1 Comment
I’m the kind of person who hoards books, and finds difficulty getting the the time to read them all within what most people would consider to be an even remotely reasonable timeframe. While that’s something I’m working on getting under control, the consequence is that I’m also the kind of person, who, if she ever actually writes a book review, writes it long after the book has been released.Such is the case with Promises I Can Keep: Why Poor Women Put Motherhood Before Marriage, by Kathryn Edin and Maria Kefalas, released in 2005. As the title would suggest, this book is about low-income mothers who have had children outside of marriage, and why this often demonized (or pitied) demographic has grown.
The shortened conclusion is that low-income single mothers are overwhelmingly purposely choosing to carry pregnancies to term and desperately desire to have their children. Under the classist, and for women of color (the interview subjects were split evenly among women who are white, African American, and of Puerto Rican descent), racist, circumstances in which these women live, college and middle-class financial stability are not seen as attainable goals — or at least, not as attainable goals that having children will significantly hinder — and so choosing to wait until after these supposed milestones to have children frequently makes little to no sense.
Low-income single mothers being presented as rational decision makers, women who are making the choices best suited to their circumstances (rather than accident prone leeches on the system), is a rare thing indeed, and that’s why I was drawn to the book. To that end alone, I certainly thought that it was a worthwhile read, and would recommend it to others. But, at the same time, I also found that it had a few significant faults.
Dec
2
13-Year-Old Girl Commits Suicide After Classmates Spread Nude Photos
Filed Under education and schools, media, misogyny, objectification, patriarchy, sex and sexuality, sexual exploitation and harassment, slut-shaming, violence against women and girls | 61 Comments
Trigger Warning for discussions of suicide, descriptions of non-consensual sexual conduct, victim-blaming and slut-shaming
The Tampa Bay St. Petersburg Times has printed the truly gut-wrenching, tragic story of a 13-year-old girl named Hope Witsell, who committed suicide after a photograph of her breasts, which she sent to a boy’s cell phone, was forwarded all over the school.
At the end of the school year at Beth Shields Middle School, the taunting became so bad that Hope Witsell’s friends surrounded her between classes. They escorted her down hallways like human shields, fending off insults such as “whore” and “slut.” A few days before, Hope had forwarded a nude photo of herself to a boy she liked — a practice widely known as “sexting.” The image found its way to other students, who forwarded it to their friends. Soon the nude photo was circulating through cell phones at Shields Middle and Lennard High School, according to multiple students at both schools. … School authorities learned of the nude photo around the end of the school year and suspended Hope for the first week of eighth grade, which started in August. About two weeks after she returned to school, a counselor observed cuts on Hope’s legs and had her sign a “no-harm” contract, in which Hope agreed to tell an adult if she felt inclined to hurt herself, her family says. The next day, Hope hanged herself in her bedroom. She was 13.
Her death is the second in the nation in which a connection between sexting and teen suicide can clearly be drawn.
I recommend that you go read the full article, because despite the many problems with it, there is a lot of information there, some of which I will not have the time to discuss here.
As Veronica Arreola said on her Twitter, while the media insists on calling this a “sexting-related suicide,” it’s much more accurately referred to as a “slut-shaming suicide.” Because the photograph she sent is not what drove this poor girl to kill herself — the non-consensual spreading of the photograph, and the subsequent reaction that her classmates and all adults in positions of authority had to it seems to absolutely have been what drove her to despair. And that is a truly vital distinction to make if we actually care about the fact that a 13-year-old girl is dead, and why.
Sep
30
The Today Show Uses Fear-Mongering to Demonize Midwives and Home Births
Filed Under media, misogyny, parenthood, paternalism, patriarchy, pregnancy, reproductive justice, women’s health | 7 Comments
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
The embedded video above is a fairly recent segment from The Today Show on the rise in midwife-assisted home births. It’s called “The Perils of Midwifery,” and it’s a segment which, it should be noted, uses almost entirely men as reporters and experts. And as you can likely tell from the title, it’s a segment which demonizes home births and midwives as much as feasibly possible.
The segment features the McKenzie family, who have suffered a horrific tragedy — their baby, who was delivered at home with midwife assistance, did not survive. Their story is clearly a heartbreaking one, and there’s absolutely no reason that it shouldn’t be told. At the same time, though, it’s also incredibly unfair for their story to be used in place of facts, or held up as an example of common home birth outcomes. Because while it is in fact one outcome that actually occurred, it’s far from a representative one.
Sep
28
So What If Mackenzie Phillips Has a Book Deal?
Filed Under misogyny, patriarchy, pop culture, rape and sexual assault, violence against women and girls | 25 Comments
My post about Mackenzie Phillips and the public reaction to her recent revelation that her father John Phillips raped her has been linked pretty widely at this point, and as a result I have received some rather obnoxious and outright disgusting comments (and emails). That’s not a complaint, at all — thank you for the links, everyone! — rather, it’s just a very sad aspect of blogging, a part of the deal. A lot of what I’ve received is the usual — she’s lying, he’s innocent until proven guilty, it was a long time ago so we should just drop it, etc.
But one set of responses is particularly prominent in this case. I find it fascinating, and it’s a subject that I haven’t personally seen addressed elsewhere. A whole lot of people are really, really focused on the fact that Mackenzie Phillips has written a book about her life, including in large part the abuse she faced at the hands of her father — meaning that she will make money off of talking about what he did to her.
This group of people, for the most part, don’t seem to directly deny that the abuse took place — they engage in a lot of rape apologism, yes, but not outright denial. Unlike most cases where a famous man is accused of rape and hoards of people respond “lying bitch, she’s just out for his money,” most people who bring up the fact that Mackenzie Phillips is being paid to tell her story aren’t accusing her of lying for a paycheck. They just really, really hate the fact that she’s making money from this awful situation, from her trauma, period.
But I ask you: What is so wrong with that?
Really, I would like someone to carefully explain it to me.
Sep
26
Trans Woman Murdered in Hollywood
Filed Under bigotry, media, misogyny, patriarchy, trans, transphobia and trans misogyny, violence against women and girls | 1 Comment
Via Queen Emily, reports came in last week of yet another trans woman being murdered. Her name was Paulina Ibarra, she was 24-years-old, and she died in her apartment from stab wounds on August 28th. But her murder only made the news last week, when police identified a person of interest, named Jesus Catalan.
Los Angeles Police investigators say the transgender community was key in indentifying this person of interest in this murder case. They released a photograph of Jesus Catalan Thursday. Catalan, 24, is a wanted parolee at large and the man that detectives want to question about Paulina Ibarra’s murder.
Ibarra, a 24-year old transgendered woman, was stabbed to death inside her Hollywood apartment on August 28.
Investigators say they know that Catalan was inside Ibarra’s apartment but they don’t know exactly what happened between the two. Police do know that Catalan is known to frequent transgender prostitutes.
[...]
Jesus Catalan is 24 years old, 5 feet 9 inches tall, weighing 140 pounds, and has a tattoo on his right arm. He is known to frequent the Hollywood and West Hollywood areas. If you have any information on his whereabouts you’re urged to call the LAPD tip line at (877) LAPD-24-7. That is (877) 527-3247.
Notice how even though there is no evidence presented whatsoever that Ibarra was a sex worker, it’s heavily implied that she was, in line with the stereotype that all trans women are sex workers. And while the victim being a trans woman is more than enough to turn police (and media) off of a case in most instances, a victim’s believed identity as as sex worker also has the same horrific effect, thus compounding the already enormous problem of prejudice. Indeed, the statement about how the transgender community was key in identifying Catalan might be an indication that they were already working hard, as trans activists regularly do, to get police to care at all.
Queen Emily and commenters at Questioning Transphobia discuss some of the other problems with the article, as well.
Paulina Ibarra is hardly the only trans woman whose murder has been ignored and/or quickly forgotten by those in positions of power (police, media, etc.). Such reaction is part of a widespread trend. But Ibarra, like all the others, matters. Victoria Ortega says in the article, “We’re here to say that we’re not going to let somebody come in and kill one of our members and just let it happen and let it be forgotten.” And those of us who are cis, and especially those of us who purport to care about women, need to stand up and denounce this constant devaluing of certain human lives (usually certain women’s lives), too.
If you are in the area, please also view the wanted poster for Jesus Catalan here (pdf), and pass it along.
Sep
24
Rape Apologism and the Response to Mackenzie Phillips
Filed Under media, misogyny, patriarchy, pop culture, rape and sexual assault, violence against women and girls | 38 Comments
Trigger WarningYesterday on Oprah, Mackenzie Phillips, star from One Day At a Time, revealed that she was raped by her now-deceased father, John Phillips (left), from the Mamas and the Papas. This, after years of him supplying her with drugs from a very young age. The abuse continued for ten years, into her adulthood — Mackenzie refers to this continuation as “consensual,” though I highly doubt that it is possible for incest between a father and daughter to ever be consensual, let alone when the father has been grooming his daughter with drugs for years, and raped her for the first time, and many times after, while she was blacked out.
I don’t blame Mackenzie Phillips for referring to this abuse as “consensual incest” — many victims blame themselves, most people period interpret compliance as consent, and Stockholm Syndrome is powerful stuff. She seems to me to be doing the best she can — and from what I saw on Oprah yesterday, though she is using the word “consensual” to describe much of the sexual contact, she’s also clearly identifying all of it as abusive.
I do however blame the media, which is pretty much universally referring to Mackenzie Phillips’ revelations as being about “sex with her father.” They refer to an ongoing incestuous relationship. Some even mention the first (known) instance, in which she awoke from a blackout during the assault. But exceedingly few refer to it as rape. Most that do put the word in scare quotes, while failing to do the same when calling it sex.
Here’s the thing: Mackenzie refers to much of the sexual contact as “consensual.” I understand not wanting to put words in her mouth, and the liability that is involved with that — even though John Phillips was her father, and that should make this issue really clear cut. But the first instance was obviously rape. How do we know? Because one cannot consent to sex during a blackout. Also, because she called it as much on Oprah yesterday. She said that yes, it was rape. Her father raped her. (She also said that when she confronted him about it, his response was “Raped you? Don’t you mean the time we made love?” Extremely typical, if extremely disturbing, minimization and manipulation by an abuser.)
And I’m extraordinarily concerned that the media feels the so-called “consensual incest” is more interesting and newsworthy than explicitly defined rape. I’m seriously disturbed by the clear effort to overlook the latter in favor of the former. It shows where our priorities are, what discussions we are and aren’t comfortable with, and which transgressions are worth public shaming.
Aug
3
50 Books for Problematic Times
Filed Under blogging, books, feminism, media, personal and self-promotion | 3 Comments
About a month ago, Newsweek released a list of “50 Books For Our Times” — 50 books that open a window to the modern world in which we live. RMJ at Deeply Problematic reviewed this list, and noticed that, apparently, the modern world is remarkably white, male and straight. The writers on this list were, in fact: 84% white, 78% male, 96% straight, 66% both white and male, and 98% either white or male.
Not very “modern,” eh?
In response, RMJ decided to compile a list of 50 Books for Problematic Times, “a list of 50 writers who shed light on society as it is today (its virtues and its flaws) without the benefit of bodies that fit into the canon,” and solicited list entries from readers of the blog and various feminist writers.
The series kicks off today, and I get the honor of having my selection go first. It’s a little bit out of the box for what you might expect from the list, though regular readers wouldn’t consider it out of the box at all with regards to what they might expect from me. After all, it’s a book written by my absolute favorite lady, Yoko Ono. Check it out.
And don’t forget to check out the rest of the series over at Deeply Problematic. One list entry will be posted per day, and I’m excited to see what the other choices are!
Jun
18
The Advocate Misgenders Trans Woman
Filed Under LGBTQ, assholes, bigotry, discrimination, gender, media, trans, transphobia and trans misogyny | 11 Comments
It’s pretty well known that the Advocate, while billing itself as an LGBT news publication, doesn’t exactly give trans issues a whole lot of coverage at all. But taking a look at this latest move, one almost has to wonder whether silence is preferable.
A man and woman named Jason Stenson and Kimah Nelson got married in NY state. Why is it news? Because Kimah is also trans. Which means that outlets like the NY Post are reporting that the two have “duped” the state into certifying a “same-sex” marriage, and that the state is also claiming their marriage is not valid.
So how did the Advocate respond? By fighting back against the misgendering of Kimah Nelson and demanding better, more respectful reporting? By admonishing the state for their declaration that Kimah isn’t a woman? By just ignoring it entirely? Or, by perpetuating the misgendering themselves?
Sadly, if you guessed the last answer, you’d be correct.
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“Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less.” — Susan B. Anthony
