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“A dream you dream alone is only a dream; a dream you dream together is reality.” — Yoko Ono
Feb
15
Book Review: Promises I Can Keep
Filed Under books, class and economics, feminism, media, parenthood, paternalism, reproductive justice, reviews | 1 Comment
I’m the kind of person who hoards books, and finds difficulty getting the the time to read them all within what most people would consider to be an even remotely reasonable timeframe. While that’s something I’m working on getting under control, the consequence is that I’m also the kind of person, who, if she ever actually writes a book review, writes it long after the book has been released.Such is the case with Promises I Can Keep: Why Poor Women Put Motherhood Before Marriage, by Kathryn Edin and Maria Kefalas, released in 2005. As the title would suggest, this book is about low-income mothers who have had children outside of marriage, and why this often demonized (or pitied) demographic has grown.
The shortened conclusion is that low-income single mothers are overwhelmingly purposely choosing to carry pregnancies to term and desperately desire to have their children. Under the classist, and for women of color (the interview subjects were split evenly among women who are white, African American, and of Puerto Rican descent), racist, circumstances in which these women live, college and middle-class financial stability are not seen as attainable goals — or at least, not as attainable goals that having children will significantly hinder — and so choosing to wait until after these supposed milestones to have children frequently makes little to no sense.
Low-income single mothers being presented as rational decision makers, women who are making the choices best suited to their circumstances (rather than accident prone leeches on the system), is a rare thing indeed, and that’s why I was drawn to the book. To that end alone, I certainly thought that it was a worthwhile read, and would recommend it to others. But, at the same time, I also found that it had a few significant faults.
Aug
3
50 Books for Problematic Times
Filed Under blogging, books, feminism, media, personal and self-promotion | 3 Comments
About a month ago, Newsweek released a list of “50 Books For Our Times” — 50 books that open a window to the modern world in which we live. RMJ at Deeply Problematic reviewed this list, and noticed that, apparently, the modern world is remarkably white, male and straight. The writers on this list were, in fact: 84% white, 78% male, 96% straight, 66% both white and male, and 98% either white or male.
Not very “modern,” eh?
In response, RMJ decided to compile a list of 50 Books for Problematic Times, “a list of 50 writers who shed light on society as it is today (its virtues and its flaws) without the benefit of bodies that fit into the canon,” and solicited list entries from readers of the blog and various feminist writers.
The series kicks off today, and I get the honor of having my selection go first. It’s a little bit out of the box for what you might expect from the list, though regular readers wouldn’t consider it out of the box at all with regards to what they might expect from me. After all, it’s a book written by my absolute favorite lady, Yoko Ono. Check it out.
And don’t forget to check out the rest of the series over at Deeply Problematic. One list entry will be posted per day, and I’m excited to see what the other choices are!
Feb
20
Yes Means Yes LiveChat at Feministe
Filed Under blogging, books, feminism, personal and self-promotion | Leave a Comment
I will be participating in a livechat today at Feministe at 3PM EST to discuss the anthology about sexual violence called Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape.
The chat will be moderated by Feministe blogger Rachel, and also feature YMY contributors Toni Amato, Hanne Blank, Heather Corrina, and Kate Harding. There will also be a second livechat at 6PM, the details of which you can check out here.
To follow along with the chat, just head over to the blog at the time and there will be a post up. (You will also be able to replay the chat once it’s finished.) We probably won’t be able to take your comments at the time of the chat, but we do do also want your questions so ask now before it’s too late!
There are so many great people taking part, and I’m really excited about it. Hope to see you there!
Jan
31
Yes Means Yes Live Chat
Filed Under blogging, books, personal and self-promotion, rape and sexual assault, violence against women and girls | Leave a Comment
On Monday February 2, I will be participating in a live-chat on Feministing with Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti, the editors of Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape. Also participating are Feministing bloggers and fellow Yes Means Yes contributors Samhita Mukhopadhyay and Miriam Perez.Did I never officially mention on the blog that I am a contributor to Yes Means Yes? Yeah, that’d be my bad. But I am! And we can attribute the failure to make an official announcement to my forgetfulness and an unusual sense of modesty temporarily cropping up, rather than any lack of enthusiasm about the book itself. I’m thrilled to be in the book — it’s the first time I’ve ever been been “really” published in print — and think that it’s an absolutely wonderful anthology. I’m also glad to have been asked to partake in the live-chat over at Feministing, the first stop on its 20 day long blog tour, and look forward to it.
The live-chat is at 3PM EST on Monday, February 2. I hope you’ll join us — and maybe toss out a question for me to answer, too!
Dec
5
Remedial Lessons in Consent
Filed Under books, feminism, misogyny, patriarchy, rape and sexual assault, reproductive justice, violence against women and girls | 5 Comments
I’m reading Subject to Debate by Katha Pollitt, which is an old collection of her columns from the 90s. It’s an interesting history lesson on what was going on in progressive politics back when I was too young to care. I love Katha. But in one column (Precious Bodily Fluids) about a guy who accused his girlfriend of lying to him about using birth control and becoming pregnant by “intentionally acquiring and misusing his semen,” she made a really disturbing comment.
In Slate, Scott Shuger opined, “A woman’s promise to take charge of birth control and then not do so remains the only form of monetary fraud . . . that is not only not punished but in fact regularly rewarded.” If this is fraud, then should we call a man’s insincere promise to “put it in for just a minute” assault?
Let’s be very clear: this is no “if, then” situation here. The answer is “yes,” plain and simple.
And this should be obvious.
Any person has the right to revoke consent, and also to place conditions on their consent. For example, consenting to oral sex is not the same as consenting to vaginal intercourse — if you consent to one, and your partner forces you to do the other, it is rape regardless of your previous and differing consent. This is unclear to some people, but really should be clear to everyone. If you tell your partner to stop during intercourse (or any other type of sexual activity) and they do not, that is rape, regardless of your previous consent.
And if you say “just a couple of seconds” and your partner knowingly and intentionally goes on for significantly longer than that? Yes! That is assault!
But the placement of Polllitt’s words seems to me to be a clear indication that the idea is laughable. Particularly considering that the column is used to call the guy filing the lawsuit a jackass, the question answers itself with “of course not — see, this idea is preposterous, just like the previous notion put forth by Shuger.”
Except the idea is not preposterous. You might have a lot of difficulty getting an attempted prosecution on the matter, let alone a successful one, but since when has that been the feminist measure of sexual assault? And what’s going on when even feminist are in need of this kind of remedial lesson in consent?
Nov
23
John Lennon in the News
Filed Under Gratuitous Beatles Blogging, books, fun, media, pop culture, random, religious fanaticism | 5 Comments
Newsflash: The Vatican has pardoned John Lennon for saying that the Beatles were more popular than Jesus.
Yeah, apparently they were still upset about that.
I bet that wherever John is, he’s very pleased. After all, he was very sorry about his comments. Just look at how sorry he was:
He apparently also said later:
“I was not saying whatever they’re saying I was saying. I’m sorry I said it really. I never meant it to be a lousy anti-religious thing. I apologise if that will make you happy. I still do not know quite what I’ve done. I’ve tried to tell you what I did do, but if you want me to apologise, if that will make you happy, then OK, I’m sorry.”
Yeah, thrilled with that forgiveness, I bet he is.
As my husband said to me upon hearing the news . . . damn, is the Vatican going to be fucking pissed once they catch up to 1970 and hear “God.”
In other news, John Lennon was named the 5th greatest singer of all time by Rolling Stone magazine. Not bad at all. I’m still bitter about them screwing George Harrison at #21 on their list of all-time greatest guitarists.
Also, did you hear that John Lennon’s murder was the result of a deal he made with the devil? It’s true. There’s a book about it and everything, and all kinds of clues are hidden in Beatles songs! It’s like Robert Johnson and Paul is Dead combined and on crack. And completely ripped off. I’m a big personal fan of Clue 2. It’ll blow your mind, man. Thanks to Dewey for sending me the press release and providing me with endless amusement. (And also, if any of you actually spend money on that piece of shit, I am so disowning you. But please enjoy the website. I did!)
May
24
A Few Feminist Reads
Filed Under blogging, books, feminism, fun, random | 7 Comments
So I joined this meme thing called Weekly Geeks. Every week a different challenge/theme is chosen and participants go and do it on their own blog (if they wish). Dewey, who runs Weekly Geeks, is a good friend of mine, which is part of the reason I joined. The other reason is that I figured it could sometimes be fun. The catch is that it’s mostly book blog related, so I won’t be able to participate most weeks while still staying at least marginally on topic (and who am I kidding, I totally wouldn’t keep up with it if I could). But, this week I can! Hooray!Choose a political or social issue that matters to you. Find several books addressing that issue; they don’t have to books you’ve read, just books you might like to read. Using images (of the book covers or whatever you feel illustrates your topic) present these books in your blog.
So, duh, I’m obviously going to choose feminism.
Apr
25
A Crazy 24 Hours
Filed Under books, feminism, media, race and racism | 14 Comments
I’ve been waiting to weigh in on the latest of the Amanda Marcotte controversies: the images in the book. I’m not going to rehash it all here; if you don’t know what I’m talking about, click the link because Holly explains it all.
I haven’t read the book or even seen it in person. So, I was unaware of the images. As for my opinion, I agree with everything that Holly and everyone else who was outraged had to say. I noted my shock and disgust in the comments. And I didn’t anticipate writing anything about it unless there were developments.
There have been. Both Amanda and Seal Press have issued apologies.
And though I’m happy that they realize they’ve done something wrong, the apologies themselves do bring up a hell of a lot of questions.
Apr
1
Taking the Word “Judge” Out of Context
Filed Under books, courts, media, misogyny, patriarchy, rape and sexual assault, sexism, slut-shaming, stereotypes, violence against women and girls | 10 Comments
A new UK book about sexual assault reveals some judges’ disturbing if not particularly unexpected views about victims of sexual assault and their personal role in “interpreting” sexual assault laws.
Judges have undermined a law intended to stop defence lawyers cross-examining women in rape cases about their sexual history, by continuing to insist on their discretion to allow it, a new book discloses.
Interviews with 17 judges in London and Manchester found that some insisted they still had a wide discretion to allow questions on sexual history, although the law was changed in 2000 to impose severe limits on questioning.
One judge described the provision as “pretty pathetic because it’s get-roundable”.
Another said: “I’m not one for being unduly fettered. I’ve been appointed to do a job on the basis that I have a certain amount of judgment, and to be fettered or shackled by statutory constraints I don’t think helps anybody.”
In other words: “I’m a judge goddammit. That means it’s my job to judge. Who said anything about the law?” Or, perhaps: “Oh yeah, well I judge that your law is stupid! In your face!”
Feb
20
My Daughter Has a Hand Mirror, and Other Signs that the Sky is Falling
Filed Under assholes, books, education and schools, misogyny, patriarchy, religious fanaticism, sex and sexuality, sexism, social conservatives, women’s health | 24 Comments
I know that this is way too easy. But all the same, when I ran across this “opinion piece” in the RH Reality Check news aggregator, I laughed so hard that I nearly sprayed orange juice across the computer screen. It just screams satire, and yet is absolutely, frighteningly serious. From Robert H. Knight, Sex Education Veers the Wrong Way:
What is it with “advice” experts? Are they all drinking the decades-old Kool-Aid from sex researcher Alfred C. Kinsey?
A case in point: In her “Family Almanac” column in the Feb. 15 Washington Post, Marguerite Kelly advises a mother to steer her curious 11-year-old boy away from the Internet and toward the kiddie sex book, “It’s Perfectly Normal.”
An illustrated, over-sized hardback by Robie H. Harris, “It’s Perfectly Normal” has sold more than 1 million copies. It’s full of colorful drawings of nude people, sexual activities including masturbation by both sexes, and even a girl leaning over and holding a mirror between her legs, so she and the reader can examine her nether regions.
If you felt violated just reading this description, imagine how kids feel when looking at the pictures. The book title sums up the author’s agenda, which is to promote all varieties of sex as “perfectly normal.”
That’s right: “even a girl leaning over and holding a mirror between her legs.” I can’t get over the hilarious and telling nature of the fact that among those who think the worst possible human action anyone could commit is to experience any form of pleasure without asking God pretty please first and promising to think of Him the whole time, a girl having a peek at her vulva is the most outlandish offense in a book all about sex. Not the dirty, sinful nudity. Or the shockingly anti-Biblical depictions of sexual activities by presumably unmarried people, including spilling one’s seed. The worst part is a girl foolishly thinking that she has a right to know what her genitals look like. Crazy liberals, don’t they know that God put a girl’s “down there” down there for a reason??? It wasn’t to sell hand mirrors, that’s for sure!
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“Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less.” — Susan B. Anthony
