Did you lately adopt the no contact rule with your ex? Whether you chose to break up or not, this is always a difficult and stressful situation. Following a breakup, the No Contact Rule is frequently advised. Even so, it might be difficult to tell whether or not it is truly functioning. If you’re at a loss during this radio silence, here are 10 tell-tale signals that the No Contact Rule is working and what you can do next.
What Is The No Contact Rule?
As the name suggests, the No Contact rule is when you’re no longer interacting with your ex girlfriend, that means no calls, texts, reactions to their social media, watching their stories, you give your ex no form of attention.
Stages Of The No Contact Rule
I believe I have to be clear about something, whether you are the dumper or the dumpee, and I have been both, a break-up will always suck, for both parties, do not be so easily manipulated into thinking that your Ex Girlfriend is any happier because of her social media posts, hell, why are you even in her social media?
For the dumpee: If you were the dumpee, you are going to first start with the horrible feeling of loss, questions about your reality, what you wanted, what you believed, and what you see with your own two eyes at this very moment, you may be questioning the entirety of your relationship and what you could have done.
Stages of your no contact rule will include denial where you can’t believe this is reality, bargaining is when you start going back to the past and digging while analyzing details hoping the universe will communicate that to your ex, anger is when you experience some sort of anger towards yourself, your ex and your reality, depression is when said reality finally settles in, acceptance is when you get over your ex, surprisingly enough, this is when most exes comeback.
For the dumper: If you were the dumper, then it is an experience most men are not familiar with, here is my own, at first, I was in a state of relief, enjoying my life, in all fairness, dumping my ex was not an angry break-up, it wasn’t a cheap shot, I did what every man had to do when the line was crossed.
The first three months were relieving, adventurous, full of traveling, my ex herself was pursuing me, I just didn’t care, the second trimester was when my bargaining stage started, Do we truly belong together? Why was she compelled to cross my lines? My fault or hers? All of those questions came rushing into my head, which was the exact opposite experience as the first three months, but whatever the case was, or how bad I felt, I had to hit the gym, eat properly, study for my exams.
“A girl leaving is no excuse for a man to stop being a man”
After 6 months, realizing my ex was still stalking me, I had a conversation with her, which ended with my own choice, whether we continue our past relationship or not, I chose to move on, but you may want to choose otherwise, It’s all up to you champ, after all, you have made it this far!
Top 10 Signs The No Contact Rule Is Working
1: You’re focused on yourself
The No Contact rule does NOT suggest you sit down staring at your phone waiting for her DM, what it DOES suggest however, is self-improvement, what impression do you want to give your ex? That you’re nothing without her? Or that you don’t even need her to be a man? Your choice.
2: You’re not hurting all the time and can enjoy things
No matter what you do, or how you feel, you are not to post sad things, or past pictures of you and her together, as far as she is concerned, you are not hurting, you are enjoying your own life and pursuing your interests, with or without her.
3: You’re flirting with others and starting to date again
I would suggest you wait until you are healed properly, but once you feel ready again, go ahead and date whoever you want, regardless of what mainstream media tells you, women LOVE men who can easily get other women, it’s called Preselection, as simple as it sounds.
4: Your ex is stalking you on social media
Whether she is reacting to your posts, your stories, or talking about you, this is direct proof that your ex is thinking about you, and regretting her decision.
5: Your ex reaches out to you
When your ex is the one breaking the ice, just now, you’re on the winning side of the equation, but don’t take it as a sign that you can start bombing your chat with text messages, hold your horses there buddy! We have arrived this far with no pursuing, let’s not ruin it up by over-pursuing.
6: Your ex is more responsive
Right now your ex has no reason to believe you want to get back with her, you have done the self-improvement, you have stayed strong, maybe you got in better shape and looking better, she should be the one talking more, pursuing you, apologizing to you, don’t cave in, let her pursue.
7: Your ex becomes more responsive
This is when your ex is aggressive in her pursuing, when she clears all doubt, that she wants you back, no questions, whether this is due to her side relationship failing, or that the guy she was with was not what she thought, she came back to you, and texts you frequently, asking somewhat random and some other times personal questions of whether you’re seeing someone else or not, do with this information what you will, if you want to ask your ex out, this is your chance, if she declines, then she’s just playing silly games.
8: Your ex starts calling over the phone
Sounds great right? Well, maybe, depends on how you look at it, I had one of my exes call me 13 times, because she saw me with another girl she thought was prettier than her, was it her ego being damaged because another girl “took” me? Or was it newfound love? Whatever the case may be, an ex calling you on the phone, with or without a good reason, is proof she misses you.
9: Your ex trying to schedule a date
You need no more proof better than this, girls are scared as hell of rejection, so when your ex schedules a date with you, it is beyond doubt that she is being vulnerable to your rejection, it’s completely in your hands now, just remember, you did certain things to get her back to you, stay attractive as you are right now, her asking you out is by no means permission for you to act emotional or weak, stay cool about this, and don’t act too excited.
10: Your ex wants to get back together
This is the point at which your ex will shed all of her defenses and urge you to be exclusive with her once more. It’s a difficult decision, and one that I am unable to make for you. However, if you want to get back together with her, you should take steps to prevent making the same mistakes in the future as you did before.